Hooded Stranger

Jun 30, 2011

This poem is part of the workshop:

Cliches and their use

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Cliché (Clichés Workshop Poem)

I've changed
And I can't find my way
Back to the person I used to be

I have fallen out of love with you
What more can I say
I know it's a cliché
But it really isn't you
It's me

I'm lost
And I can't find the path
Back to the life I used to have

(chorus)
My head is confused and I no longer see you
You are just a blurred image lost in the hue
I've drifted away and severed our line
I no longer need you
I no longer want you as mine

(chorus)
My mind is distorted and I no longer feel you
This pull to be alone has never felt so true
I've floated away and snapped our spine
No longer am I yours
And no longer are you mine

I've faltered
And I've forgotten my way
Back to the person I used to be

I have fallen out of love with you
What else can I say
I know it's a cliché
But it's me not you
Believe me

I'm broken
And I've forgotten the path
Back to the life I used to have

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Poem/lyric about one cliché only - the cliché = It's not you, it's me (although I changed the order of the words slightly) - HS

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West England, GBR

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath (poet)

Comments

Chrys

Chrys,

I do try to not to use cliches, but this one just wrote itself...with a cliche in it!

I am not sure this one is going to be recorded, it isn't a favourite of mine to be honest.

That said, if I get enough suggestions to make it better, I may decide to give it the recording attention.

regards,

The eternal love cliche 'its not you its me'. Well handled, but a softer tone to your lyrics than usual. I like the way you use the word cliche within the lyrics, its a very effective falling out of love song. I imagine it sounding like a ballad of sorts, with a lighter more melodic accompaniment.

Lou

Lou,

believe it or not I do sometimes try to write with less darkness. This is one of those. The cliche is used a lot, but it actually felt right to use it and call it a cliche in the lyric itself.

It isn't one of my favourites but it does fit the workshop programme.

regards,

Ian

stop ya counting you!...you're just trying to lead people away from the best poem in the workshop with your derogatory comments...LOL!!

This is just as poor as my other two, this cliche workshop isn't bringing out my best poetry at all!

Oh come on "believe me" isn't a cliche...you're just trying to find fault on purpose...lmao!

regards you nasty little man!!

ps. only kidding, you're not little! LOL!

Workshop: Cliches and Their Uses

Dear Dan,

I should not have been surprised, knowing you, that you would write lyrics! It is so YOU! Very impressive but I felt like there should have been more... Or is that my greedy side showing through?

always, Cat

Cat

Dear cat,

you know me too well, if I can use a lyric, then I will...it's all I know!!

You want more!!...ok Mrs, I'll see what I can come up with you greedy girl!

LOL!

regards,

Ian

that's it, our friendship is over, you are using and abusing me and even my therapist can't help me now and as for the Samaritans...they have blocked my number, now leave me alone!

You do brighten up my day! LOL!

cheers mate,

Mr Y

Mr Y,

looks like you will have to watch the celebrations on the podium from the back of the crowd. I'll get JC to film it and then you can watch it all over and over. I don't think the champagne will reach you when I open it, with you being all sulky at the back of the crowd!

LOL!

SpecSavers...LOL!...my daughter-in-law works there...she can give you special losers rates!

JayCee

Thanks for the positive comment - that will annoy Mr Yenti big time...LOL

As you noticed this isn't a favourite of mine, maybe it is the lack of darkness!

Thanks for the comment and rattling MR Y's cage...I see he has posted a comment about your comment already...LOL!