Our land, pitched
Between two extremes
Manifest multiplicities of woes
From abject poverty and squalor
A far divide from the few rich
To politics and religion
Forbid I mention names
Lest wanton violence
Destruction of lives
Threaten our existence
Eroded middle class
Clash of identities
Suffer terrible losses
In class and culture
A nation tossed about
Like water in a canoe
Oct 10, 2011
CLASH OF ID
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hello,
Very profound subject matter! I like these lines:
To politics and religion
Forbid I mention names
Lest wanton violence
Destruction of lives
Threaten our existence
Eroded middle class
Clash of identities
Suffer terrible losses
In class and culture
A nation tossed about
Like water in a canoe
always, Cat
Thank you…
best wishes, merry Xmas and a happy new year.
tr