VanRyan
VanRyan
Dec 18, 2020

Christmas at Sea

A gale blew in on Christmas Eve;
we headed out to face the angry sea,
some 80 crew away from home,
including one tired navigator, me.

Our Coast Guard Cutter was “bucking” out
from Port-au-Prince, where we had served
long weeks on our patrol, but now,
we longed for rest so well deserved.

Then we received a call that took
us off our Portsmouth course,
to save those lives in peril of the sea--
for now the storm increased in force;

We knew that Santa would not come to us,
those “Always ready; Semper Paratus.”

About This Poem

Last Few Words: True account. My focus had been on end rhymes, not syllable count.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Arizona, USA

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

the tale of the gale? Or the fact that you did not focus on syllable count? Lol. I like the story, but it seemed to be rather short in the end. I'm thinking that it should have been a little bit more dramatic and described the actual rescue. ~ Geez.
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C

welcome to Neo Poet
I was actually looking for more it seemed to have ended to abruptly perhaps another stanza or two

VanRyan

that's the long and the short of my tale. I've done enough jibber-jabber; time for my winter nap. Merry Christmas, and to all a good night.
Val, et al.