You're shared memory
embraced me with
cherished moment
as I remember vividly
like yesterday
How I emulated you
in the reflection of the mirror
each day I woke up
carrying you in my thought
filled an imprinted plant seed
reminded me of each glorious day
like your radiant smile
instilled in me
making me feeling loneliness
of your absence leave
I battled in an empty nest
to ask to go back in time
feel of your presence
to hold you
with a dedicated memory
through eternity that
I remember your love
Apr 15, 2023
Challenge Waiting Room- Your Memory
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Challenge Waiting Room- Your Memory" is a heartfelt tribute to a loved one who has passed away. The author uses vivid imagery and poignant language to describe the impact that the memory of this person has had on their life. The theme of longing for their presence is palpable throughout the poem.
One of the strongest aspects of this poem is the use of sensory details. The author describes the memory of their loved one as being "embraced" and "cherished," which gives the reader a sense of warmth and comfort. They also use the image of a plant seed to represent the lasting impression that this person has left on their life. These details help to make the poem more concrete and relatable.
However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. There are a few awkward phrasings, such as "my heart was bearing with loneliness" which could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, there are a few places where the punctuation could be adjusted to improve the flow of the poem.
One possible line edit could be to change "with imprinted plant seed" to "an imprinted seed," which would make the phrasing less clunky and more concise.
Overall, "Challenge Waiting Room- Your Memory" is a touching tribute to a loved one. With a few minor adjustments, this poem could be even stronger and more impactful.
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