Your love for me has faded away
like a beautiful red rose that has budded,
blossomed and died when the cold winter has arrived
and frozen the lovely, pretty flower.
There were moments of happiness our my lives
when we shared the joy of laughter and tears
with each other but now these days were gone
like a spring season has passed away.
I was awakened from my sleep
wishing you would come to visit and
embrace me in your arms
but you were too far away from me
You took off in a hurry
that I hardly get to spend time with you
and this leaves my heart filled with emptiness
perhaps you only came to peep
and never meant to stay
And here I was filled
with sadness and confusion.
And the echo of my inner voice whispered in me:
'Oh, shed no tears! Oh, shed no tears!"
"Weep no more! Oh, weep no more!"
"Dry your eyes! Oh, dry your eyes!"
I often ask myself:
"Why did you come and leave
so quickly/"
"Maybe we were never meant to be
It was better that we went on our separate ways."
Every time I come to find a red rose
the sight of the flower reminds
me of you like the one that
you have given me on
our first date
And still, I treasure it
with the symbol of my love for you
With a cherished memory
of the love season
when we first met
I should never forget
As long as I should live
because you were my first true love
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium)
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Challenge-Dear John Letter" is a heartfelt expression of a relationship that has come to an end. The speaker uses vivid imagery to convey the sense of loss and emptiness they feel after their partner has left. The metaphor of a red rose that has budded, blossomed and died in the cold winter is particularly effective in capturing the fleeting nature of love and the pain of its passing.
The poem also explores the memories and moments of joy that the couple shared together, and how those memories linger even after the relationship has ended. The use of repetition in the lines "Oh, shed no tears! Oh, shed no tears!" and "Weep no more! Oh, weep no more!" adds to the emotional intensity of the poem.
One suggested line edit would be to change the line "when we shared the joy of crying and laughing" to "when we shared the joy of laughter and tears." This change would improve the flow of the line and make the contrast between the two emotions more striking.
Overall, "Challenge-Dear John Letter" is a well-crafted poem that effectively conveys the complexities of love and loss. The use of imagery and repetition adds depth and emotional resonance to the piece.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Thank you Wizard Al
Thank you, Wizard Al for the constructive feedback. I will make the changes.
Beautiful but painful memory
Sometimes our only love hurts us the worst and we don't understand why. It seems happiness is meant to be short lived and those who find it for the long haul is a rarity. Good luck.