An Exploration of Style, Subject, and Critique

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Chair (Haiku) - Exploration of Style WS

I
stale smell of old books,
light divides the dark in two,
I wake from my work

II
sensation returns,
singing bursts from the garden:
your light rouses me.

III
otherworldly hum,
screech against the wooden floor,
something works upstairs.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Couldn't decide on one, so I posted three.

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ghana, GHA

Favorite Poets: William Shakespeare

Comments

I like these

I believe the third one best meets the criteria.

Thanks Jonathan

I couldn't have done it without the first two.

William

I agree with Jon. The third one really describes a chair.

Alid

Thanks Alid

I never intended to describe a chair, but I guess the last one works.

I thought

the second one works too, but none of the three has a direct reference to a chair. Just my opinion.

Salam, Rula

I have to disagree. You see when you drag a chair, there's the 'screeching' sound, hence the reference to a chair.

Alid

Salam Khalid

Like in my haiku, not so direct to the subject. Many things can cause that sound. Again, just what I thought.

For some reason I've tried to avoid naming the subject or referencing it directly in any of the poems I submitted. Where I name the subject, I make it such that you'll only notice it if you're more interested in the question: Was the subject actually used in the poem?