Rula
Rula
Feb 06, 2014
This poem is part of the workshop:

The Complete Poem- Start to Finish

(Read More...)

Cacophony (Complete Poem- Start to Finish WS)

Bleary, blurry eyes,
Stuffy, red nose.
Dragging the legs,
with numbing toes.

Woozy head's dizzy,
sneezin' and sneezin'.
Fevered body's tizzy,
wheezin' and wheezin'.

Please don't start,
not all this pain,
Please don't start,
not the flu again!

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

11 years 2 months ago

A true cacophony of rhyme, so the title fits pretty well with the verses. I could relate to it even more because right now I am nursing a sneezing nose ...after reading your poem I hope it is not flu ) A nice complete poem starting from symptoms to the eventual flu....being in draft stage I am sure you may want to tweak the last stanza...just a thought...

Regards,

Rula

I am sorry if my poem passed you some of the flu's symptoms. :)
Thanks for your kind words. Please be safe.

R

It was only a co-incidence that you posted the poem while i had caught a cold. My comments were just in humor. Fortunately, the poem did not escalate into Flu :)

alidzain

What can I say, Rula? I'm always a fan of your works.
Dear Raj, bless you. Don't forget to take your meds.
To you, Sir Knight.I agree with you.

God bless
Alid

Rula

Thanks for your kind visit. I am happy you liked this one.
It is something I wanted to write a while ago.