The bright brown sparrow so light so narrow
shoots like an
arrow up into the cool misty blue sky
Leaving behind a red ray of light.
That protrudes
out into the night
The clouds crowd
The entire sky just
To see This
illustrious sight
Of the kaleidoscopic
Colors endearingly
Dancing within the mellow midnight .
As the sparrow
Continues its
harrowing flight.
Nov 03, 2020
The bright brown sparrow
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Thank you
And thank you for your kind words
Edward
I offer this I saw your poem nice very nice
Dear Edward, your poem is
Dear Edward, your poem is lovely. I like the little brown sparrow very much.
You've got some excellent inner rhymes which add musicality to your verses.
The theme is interesting, the title is fine and the spacing is also good. Bring on more, we need poets like you.
All the best, Gracy
Thank you
Thank you