I wish I could box my angst like sand
and leave it all covered for a sunny day
to air my troubles, my woes in the light
where I could see them clearly and say
to angst and fear, then, near at hand,
uncovered, unmasked, let’s put you right;
not in the corner, nor hidden from view but
exposed to the sunlight, unboxed and made one
with beach and ocean, the shore, where feet
can print the steps of a man under the sun
now rising in the east and behind me anew
is a vision made whole and not yet complete.
Comments
A Box of Sand
Hello, Patrick,
At first I thought this a very original and interesting rhyme pattern, and then noticed it was free verse. Still,,. a touch of rhyme here! This is dreamlike and thought-provoking. I very much like your title and theme, and the poem flows smoothly. Lovely final couplet. I read in your bio that you like William Carlos Williams and Mary Oliver. I see a nice influence of both here!
Thank you!
L
Rhyme vs Free
Thanks, Lavender. I don't quite know how to classify and am still confused about what determines free verse and what determines rhyme. Are they mutually exclusive?
Hello, Patrick,
I didn't mean to confuse you. I saw you had it listed as free verse. There are so many rhymes here, I thought it was perhaps a different rhyme form. I would be curious as to how other readers think it should be classified. ( It's actually a pretty intriguing poem in this regard.) For the poem, there is a gentle smooth flow that really appeals to the reader, and your theme is relatable and inspiring.
Thank you!
L