docmaverick
docmaverick
Aug 09, 2013
This poem is part of the workshop:

Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal)

(Read More...)

Between Twins

Twin boys were born untimely to a maiden, "fair"
on an otherwise non-eventful day,
three moutths to feed gave her quite a scare
so she sent one son far, far away.

She sent one son to be adopted in France
Ahmal was the boy's first name,
with just the one son she'd have a better chance
although she loved them both, just the same.

Juan was frail and would eat much less
so, 'twas poverty that made up her mind,
of herlife and her offspring's, she'd made quite a mess
and her conscience did treat her unkind.

For her birthday Juan gave her
a portrait of him, as a gift,
but, her heartache concerning his brother
sent her lonely heart floating adrift.

She asked Ahmal for a sketch, or photo,
for forgiveness, and to please understand;
she needed forgiveness for making hm go
to a family in some far away land.

His reply, or his likeness never did appear
and she felt her request was quite small,
she smiled at Juan, and he dried her last tear,
for if you've seen Juan...you've seen Ahmal.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates

More from this author

Comments

loved

loved

11 years 8 months ago

but none can separate them
from anywhere
they will find out as does water its own level
you r a beautiful musician as well
as a magician
great
all poetry from unread have been cleared by this exceptional
Neopoet u haven't yet read
it's me LOVED

loved

loved

11 years 6 months ago

not only you have not replied
to my your twins
but none else has tasted the lovely ones yet
i think Neopoets must within the domains dwell
and read all poetry and tell.......