scribbler
Jun 10, 2018

BECOMING A STRANGER

Bound at home too many days
by temporary infirmity
watching tube until eyes glaze
I think of days that used to be......

For the first time in many years
just as a nap overtook me
memory returned by ancient gears
of a game trail that used to be.

So when I was at last set free
I decided to check if it still went its way
thus in my old truck I went to see
on this cold clear late winter day.

But it was a confused trip.
Nothing was as it used to be.
Time had crushed all in its grip
like a vine slowly choking a tree

What happened to that country store?
Had the narrow gravel road been paved?
Nothing seemed like once before.
No familiar landmarks had been saved.

I drove and searched for half a day.
Never found the road much less the trail
'cause everything had gone away
dooming nostalgic trip to fail.

For I'd waited way too many years
which allowed for too much change.
I guess as my old age nears
too many things will become strange.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I'd started to title this "Stranger In A Strange Land" then remembered there is already a book titled that

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

IRiz

IRiz

6 years 10 months ago

I like the name Becoming a Stranger
It has deep meaning. Lev Tolstoy talks about how a person gets alienated to the environment before death. You talk about how with age we might grow apart from fastly changing reality keeping loyalty to our preserved by memory images.
It is a profound poem, my friend. I can relate very much.

S

Sometimes the best titles have been used up."You Can't Go Home Again" would have worked too but it is not only used but worn out lol. I appreciate the visit and kind comment.......stan

lovedly

u hv taut me how 2 read epicurial puitre

lol me

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Stan you have demonstrated that you re as good in free verse as in rhyme in a poem which rhymes about the changing times....it also superimposed pictures from a photo album with real time images...it is therefore pretty melancholic in its mood...
.................................................................................................

S

I think I'll write my next poem as a free verse. It occurs to me that a lot of new members might think I'm a rhyme snob lol. Too many are the time I go to places and have only memories of the sylvan scenes that were there before. Appreciate the visit.......stan

Geezer

Geezer

6 years 10 months ago

I've just become seventy this May. My left knee is starting to go, but I suspect that it will last long enough, that the doctors won't want to operate because of my lung problems and circulation. I have lived in this area since my birth and only spent around fifteen years away. I've seen woods and fields and streams, fade away and disappear. Places that I've hunted are now filled with condos and malls.
Soon, even the land that is left [and posted by the way], will be buried under another bunch of condos or a strip mall. I really value the small spots of woods and lonely places left here. Thanks for another look at the changing scene. ~ Gee.
.

Geezer

My excuse is... that I am extremely tired and haven't been writing or posting as much as usual. Therefore, not because you are any less prolific Lovedly; but my attention has been taken elsewhere. Keep trying, eventually you will connect. ~ Gee.
.

S

I'm gonna have to start calling you Mr. Geezer lol. This poem is based on the place where I killed my first deer about 40 years ago. I had not been back for about 30 years and decided to take a friend to the spot. Not only could I not find the trail I could not even find the road due to all the changes. Talk to your Dr. about knee lubrication injections asap. Your knees might not be too far gone for that to help and it's a Lot less painful and a bunch less expensive........stan

S

I'm gonna have to start calling you Mr. Geezer lol. This poem is based on the place where I killed my first deer about 40 years ago. I had not been back for about 30 years and decided to take a friend to the spot. Not only could I not find the trail I could not even find the road due to all the changes. Talk to your Dr. about knee lubrication injections asap. Your knees might not be too far gone for that to help and it's a Lot less painful and a bunch less expensive........stan

S

I have no idea how I over looked your comment But my late reply is to first of all thank you. The next is to join you in commiserating the loss of places to hunt and even just walk through

S

doesn't want me to post reply to you gee

Eumolpus

that everything will become strange as we age in a changing world (the world wasn't always changing so fast, in which even each new generation can barely relate to another) This is a noble theme for a poem.
I would drop the first stanza and the further reference as it is not pertinent to the poem, which can simply simply begin with a memory. The abstract reader does not know why you are apparently in the hospital and get released, (rather than home recouping from that dreadful new knee operation)

The poet is Frostian. I think it could be shortened and tightened up, but the message is one that I have not seen and feels both original and personal. I would explore that a bit further in the is poem which has the framework to be very powerful.

S

I'm always going back and editing so I'll keep your idea about the first stanza in mind when I rework this one........stan

IRiz

IRiz

5 years 8 months ago

Have you thought to elevate your style at the end of your poem? To make the ending more emphatic?
For example,

As I have waited way too many years,
too many things have changed. I guess,
the world and its observer grow strange
approaching cold late winter age.

S

I am aware that this poem doesn't end with a bang. But does that not fit the subject? The changes which slowly turn the familiar into strange over time doesn't come of a sudden nor does the realization that it has happened come suddenly..........but I'm always going back to poems and your idea will be in mind when I do next edit on this