Beautiful Weather

Breathtaking sky sunny , cloudy
and rainy predicted that's a nice
variation of to the phenomenon
of nature everything is in bloom ,

The warm blanket of sunshine and
outside nature shows us the most
beautiful things ,where the birds heard
whistling but not all is as you want .

Clouds float gently to the rhythm
of the wind that soon again expecting
the rain that refreshes and the sun
breaks through the clouds again .

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Netherland

Comments

Hello, Pattra

Welcome to Neopoet. May you find this site a wonderful place to learn and gain more friends. This is a good poem. I like the last stanza the best.

Clouds float gently to the rhythm
of the wind that soon again expecting
the rain that refreshes and the sun
breaks through the clouds again .

I need to ask you though why the second stanza's line is shorter than the rest? Is it deliberately done? Mayhaps it will be a better idea to make it the same number of lines like the rest. This is however my own opinion. Let's wait for others to comment.

Alid

Hello ,Alid

Thanks for your welcome for your comment and feedback
to be honest I haven't even thought about
i have edited the second stanza what do you think ?

Best regards,Pattra

Not bad

At least you have vivid imagery there, which is what I was lacking when I first joined Neopoet. Keep on writing.

Alid

Thank you ,Alid

this poem was inspired by the weather where i live Holland it a Summer time here but the weather is so unpredictable and thanks for encouraging .

My best regards

Seeker

welcome to Neopoet I notice that you are new to writing, just let yourself feel the flow of the words and then use a notepad to put them down edit then stream.
There are many poets here that will help you in becoming a writer.
I shall bring the A-M and N-Z of poem writing to the top of the stream so that you can see the many forms of poetry also how many are written.
Also read as many classic poets works that you can they are classic because they are good enough to last so long, Good luck with your writing. yours Ian.T

Hello lan .T

Thanks you for your welcome and Thanks for your feedback
I hope to always improve my writing .

Best regards ,Pattra

Hi Pattra

Welcome to Neopet. I am sure that while you soak in the stream of poems here you are very likely to seek what you have looked for while signing up as a Member of Neopoet. I learn from your profile that you are from Netherlands in spite of which your english is pretty good and will improve as you write and express more and more. I could experience the raw freshness you have expressed of the season by just letting your thoughts flow through your pen / keyboard. I am sure your poems would become more structured in days weeks and months. For me your poem did capture the mood....keep writing and expressing...

Let me suggest that you may experience some very harsh criticism. don't be disturbed by that but take it in your stride as a good intention of the one who critiques...

Regards,

Thank you , raj

Thank you for the welcome i'm glad you enjoyed this and for your kind advice
I have no problem with harsh criticism if my writing will improving from .

My best regards