Candlewitch

Jan 09, 2023

Bearing The Brunt by: eddy styx

ripped away
forcefully taken
from the warmth of
loving arms, forsaken

cold rushing in like wind
whistling over a frozen lake.
many howling miles
no woodland to break...

the cold like razor fingers
wind chill twenty-two minus zero.
in my head, I hear her calling
crying, reaching arms out for a hero.

tortured mind picturing
his abuses raked over her person
probing hands tainting her being,
can't keep my thoughts away, they worsen.

smelling the smoke from a campfire
I forge ahead through snow and frost
urging me onward, up ahead I see the light
If I find her sullied, spoilt, his life will be the cost!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: thank you Onyinechi for the new title! * eddy styx

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Dear Cat

I have missed Eddy, I am going love catching up. So, the title? I don't think it fits. I do think that it's a very good draft. I will be interested to come back and see what you do with this one. I will be back ;)

i think the line "HIs abuse visited on her person" needs a little tweaking, I think given the subject matter and the seriousness of the poem "visited" doesn't fit the narrative

love and hugs J x

Dear Cat

I really like the update <3

Love & hugs J x

you helped me get there!

thank you sweetness.

*ever, eddy

*hugs, and Love, Cat

Cat

You are most welcome Sweets; I am chuffed I helped.

hugs & love (x)

*Smiles :)

it is just so great to see you again!!!

*love you, cat

Awwww

hon that means a lot coming from you (((HUGS)))

love you too <3

My favorite Vigilante

Well done, Eddy! Find her and take out the trash while you are at it!

dear Carrie,

and you are mine! thanks for the read and comment!

*ever, eddy

I agree with Seren

The title doesn't fit the poem in any way. Should think towards the subject matter of the piece.

Well-wrought with creative beauty! Nice job!
.

dear Jackweb,

that was the title I changed to. do you have any suggestions?

thanks, eddy styx

If I had written this

I would have captioned it 'BEARING THE BRUNT' or 'BRUNT EMOTION.
.

I like...

Bearing The Brunt and will change the title in a bit. thank you Onyinechi.

thanks, eddy styx

You're welcome !

I'm glad you liked my suggestion
.

it was so good...

to see you, thanks for all the help!

*ever, eddy styx

Alright

You're welcome!
.

dear Kat,

my name is eddy styx. I am the Male alter ego of Cat's. I write dark poetry. very often I am the villain who perpetrates dark deeds to draw them to light and remind careless folk that it is a dark and dangerous world we live in, thank you for reading and commenting on my poetry, fair lady.

*ever, eddy styx