YOU might not be
as pretty
as some singers
nor shiny
as Hollywood stars
I might not be
as rich as Gates
nor genius
as Einstein
But I want to be yours
and you to be mine
Dec 23, 2012
Be Mine (proposal)
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
I can't sing very well but the intelligence is ok, I thought I asked you not to talk about it yet lol.
This piece of yours needs a little work the theme is good, though the execution is not so good, the flow using those names didn't work, the Gates caused a problem there are a few more rich one to choose from that will fit the bill, then you could find two that compliment each other.
Take care young Lady and know you are in our thoughts, Yours Ian.T
Ian
interesting comment. when I composed this, an image inspired. I am not sure what other names might be less problematic as no structure is intended here. it is intended to be free more than structured though it rhymed by the end.
Would appreciate some suggestions.
yes i like this rula
simple and effective
some might say hallmarky,
- but elite hallmark i'd say
:)
love judy
xxx
Hello Judy
elite Hallmark .
I think I'll start a business.
Would you share me? 50-50 :)
No offence intended
lol
depends on if it's a typo on your behalf
50-5 or 50-50 ??
:)
love judy
xxx
percentage
Corrected ..Will you now
absolutely xx
absolutely xx
:) Mark!
Have you ever read my profile ?
Mark
either I misunderstood your comment or you misunderstood my piece .
Don't worry. I am so happy you've dropped by, enjoyed the lines and left the comment .
Have a nice day...
sorry
duplicated
my apology mark
a misunderstanding from my end as i said.Appreciate your words and the clarification :)
Thank you
Hi Rula
You know I don't do much free verse so my opinions about them don't count for much. But I read over this 3-4 times and couldn't find anything I'd change...........stan
hi Stan
for me every comment counts and i know you'd not spare to offer any
Thank you
Sweet story. Love Ann.
Sweet story.
Love Ann.
Anna
The full story isn't written yet, just a proposal for marraige though it is nothing of my culture, I liked to try something as inspired by a picture as I said to Ian . Hope you are well
Thanks for dropping by .