gregwa8

May 21, 2018

This poem is part of the contest:

Military Memories... 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Arcadian Ground (military memories contest)

So many traded
The pastoral
For the petrifying

But they did not remain stone

Either when tilling
Their rocky fields at home

Or when facing
The stony fields of war
In distant countries

The cold rains falling
The ice of indifference:
Enemies
Or flying metal

Infantrymen
Or bombers
Of both sides

Who have their own
Fields and families
To go home to

Surrounded by flowers

On or in
The precious
Arcadian ground

We all are fighting for

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Thanks for sharing

Greg. I thought maybe you'd like to reconsider the lineation / line- breaks of a one thought but of course you know better than I what and how you want to say it.
Thank you for sharing.

My thoughts on...

this work:

So many traded
The pastoral
For the petrifying

But they did not remain stone

Either tilling their rocky
Pastures of home
Or the stony fields of war

The ice of cold enemies
Or the indifference
Of flying metal

Infantrymen
And bombers
On both sides

Who have their own
Fields and families
To go home to

Surrounded by flowers

On or in
The precious
Arcadian ground

We are all fighting for

Just suggestions to help the flow, yet keep the flavor that you have imparted here.
Use anything you like. ~ Geezer.
.

Thanks Geezer. I like your

Thanks Geezer. I like your changes!

Like I said...

use any or all of them, they are yours! ~ Geezer.
.

glad you

won May contest

You are a professional song writer
wish we had known
and
I would have withdrawn
ever being in Vietnam...
none the less
CONGRATS