Apostle James would have been my friend

who am I to speak in psalm
my heart, without a soul, is made of stone.
I am the wicked, the perverse, the insane,
and so without, I would remain.
Life is a double edged sword, piercing flesh from death
Iron sharpens iron, my Abba always said
We are taught that love and light is what we fight for,
but why would the same God be so despiteful;
yes I must know the cold to feel the heat
but who is the listener when I speak
I am a stranger to this land,
and still, I chose to love by your command