Await be not anxious mates
change your ancient thoughts
anaconda and apple
without any seed
how would you
as a creature now
or ever be
there would be no
buds nor flowers
in any valley
hope you are
applying your modern mind
as is being done
by those more rational now
of current scientific mankind
need one now you remind
the origins
since ages of humankind
Comments
Dear lovedly, I confess that
Dear lovedly, I confess that I don't quite understand the gist of your poem. There are also some grammatical bumps along the way. Sorry, not meaning to offend, but you say you want the raw truth.
I think that with a bit of tweaking it could become a lovely poem. All the best, Gracy
Thanks ma'am shall try to prune it further
as u say
i love frankness all my poetry is not diamonds
Dear lovedly, none of us
Dear lovedly, none of us write diamond poetry! I love yours very much, just think they need a bit of tweaking, but that's just my opinion. All the best, Gracy
Thanks
shall more do
Gracy ma'am