AMBIGUOUS LOVE

Sister Sarah said, her siblings are green
Steeped in the blues they fall headlong
When dealing with a willing opposite
Undefined emotions embedded in senses
Presumed love befall a smiling snare
Like a bubby traps set at rabbit holes

She prayed never to be caught there in
Declared fervidly, ‘Na love I go chop’
Her love has eyes on a thinking cranium
To see the masked on these preying people
A community that takes and thwacks hard
Like banana peels to stomach and bin

People pretending to be who they are not
Basking in euphoria of false victory
Sometime they realize the mess they have made
Otherwise, too late to correct and retract
The kingdom of man suffers and stagnates
And the empire is brought to an early end

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: NGA

Favorite Poets: Inspired by an article in an old manuscript

Comments

Iboro

I am afraid that this is a mixture of lines and words, the theme seemed to wander, I think this needs a bit of work.
I am not sure what happened here your work is usually straight forward either history or verse, Please come back to me on this one, Yours Ian.T

a mixture of lines and words

This piece deals with misplaced affection. One partner thinks he/she is in love, while the other is out to take all the goodies he or she can get and when there is nothing material left to gain from, dumps the pertner, leaving him or her ruined. I hope this throws some light to the piece. Best wishes.