chima ononogbu
chima ononogbu
Nov 14, 2019

Alpha Child

Greatness, my child, is your lot,
the golden dream after which for you I seek,
even before my first glance at your face,
so had I prayed.

I prayed the rivers,
I prayed the gentle dews,
I prayed the glorious sways,
of joy in your arteries to perpetually flow.

Alpha child, my heartbeat I bare,
that you climb the wind to your sky,
stand on the scalps of the mountains,
to mount the throne of your greatness.

For this, the nightingale joyfully sings,
the pines spray the night with fragrant melodies
that animate the leaves to a wavy dance.
Gladly, these foreshadow your glorious rise.

Now dream beyond my dreams,
pray prayers bigger than I pray,
'cause your destiny in fluorescent colors grins,
your light brighter than my days shines.

Be bold, be dauntless,
as a young lion roam your borderless territory,
roar till the clouds flee,
so that your greatness may ever rain.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Houston, TX, USA

Favorite Poets: Maya Angelou

More from this author

Comments

Simon

Simon

5 years 5 months ago

Well, if I were you I will put it this way,
I pray the rivers
I pray the genttle dews
I pray the glorious ways of joy
In your arteries to perpetual flows.
Because as a parent you are not supurse to pray limitedly for your child it's a contunious process.
I rather learn how to fish than beg for one.

chima ononogbu

I'd rather you read the poem and learn one or two things than trying to correct it. Or better still, ask question. Anyhow, if you'd read the first stanza very well you'd have realized why 'prayed' instead of 'pray' is more appropriate. The preposition 'before' indicates a prayer preceding the child's birth. Hence 'prayed' fits better. However, the prayer doesn't stop there but continues in the present in subsequent stanzas. I'd advise that you polish your writing skills. Thanks.