A man sits alone on the beach
A solitary tear washes down his cheek
The party rages and the lights strobe
But in his soul he is alone
Zachary J Eakin - 7 - 13 - 19
Jul 13, 2019
Alone
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
This is a bald statement of loneliness
This is imagistic, possessing a compact ferocity.
I wonder if altering the third line, making it more sparse, might make it a more intense piece. Like eliminating the first "The" and returning to your original scheme with vowel sounds also "But his soul alone".