scribbler
Jul 09, 2015

AFTER THE LOVING

Let me lay my head upon your breast
and feel the beat of your dear heart
slowly matching that within my chest
as the sweaty heat slowly departs.

Goose bumps dimple in the dark
while quickened breaths begin to slow.
A dog outside begins to bark
which won't affect the afterglow.

We'll talk of inconsequential things
and laugh of events in the past
and the honesty which old love brings
as facades fall away at last.

Our fingers trace each other's curves
in comfortable familiarity
tracing the routes of passion's nerves
and years of loving memories.

Then sweat's sheen dries and our skin chills
causing covers to hide you from me
and almost against our wills
sleep finally comes and sets us free.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Seren

Seren

9 years 9 months ago

This isn't about just fucking excuse my french its about all the little things that gather you both together going into it, there's a certain tenderness and vulnerability like the writer was loath to put some of those words on the page, maybe shyness, whatever it is it really is beautiful

You should be very very proud of this poem

Kudos

You sis J xo

S

I tried my best to keep the eros without being even slightly pornographic. Pleased to see i succeeded. And in my limited experience it's what happens before and after the sex which makes it meaningful. Thank you for taking time to visit...........stan

Sparrow

Loved this one in its tenderness and depicting the age of the two so subtly Compact and full of quiet emotion, Well written, Yours Ian..

Roscoe Lane

Excellently written, captures those moments perfectly. Regards Roscoe...

S

I have no idea how I missed your comments. Perhaps they came when my comp was down? But I see them now while reviewing some of my stuff and appreciate them both.......stan

S

A minor edit brought this back up and I'm pleased you like it