When the only thing you can see is your breath from the cold,
My trembling hand I ask you will hold.
As your skin grazes, our love starts a spark,
I'll always miss you the day after dark.
Jun 19, 2017
After Dark
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Just lovely
I love compression of meaning