I’m more than what you see
There’s something deep inside me
That makes me laugh, makes me cry
That oft times makes me feel like dying
What purpose would it serve
To do something that absurd
So when I’m down I hold it back
Collect my thoughts to stay on track
And when the night is dark and cold
I think of all the stories told
Held within my frenzied mind
And close my eyes
Take a breath or two
And silently remember You!
That someday I might dwell with You!
Adonai, Adonai, Adonai!
Mar 08, 2023
ADONAI!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I can't seem to find the words to adequately express myself, there are so many people that I don't want to offend, because my views are so strong on the subject before me, but please render a reply to help clarify my thoughts. I want this to come out just right. I'm lonely, cold and tired and have an illness that sometimes plagues me both day and night. What's said has been said and I think I've made it clear enough to help you understand. Where it is that I stand. Thank you for any comment that you might have.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Faith...
is what holds many people together. I think that one must have faith in something, whether it be God, [no matter how you call it], or something else. One without faith in something, anything, is a very lonely person.
Far be it from me, to disparage a person for believing that there is someone or something greater than us. As long as it is a thing beneficial to us, what does it matter? You have written a piece that will resonate with most everyone, if they look behind the obvious. Good work, ~ Geezer.
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ADONAI!
Thanks again!