When I don’t know what to write
I feel my hand aching to move and
my heart begging to be heard
but the words don’t flow,
my hand feels stuck,
and my heart is
left alone.
Everything feels so heavy.
My head has hurt for days
My eyes have tears that won’t fall.
They want to, but they can’t.
They won’t.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
I must...
suppose that your title is alright, it brought me in.
I have achy hands myself. I read the poem and by the time I was done,
I had to look at the title again! So your title did its' job.
Your language use is good too, easy to understand and well used.
I like the theme, it shows that people hurt, even as they say
"I'm alright, Don't worry, I'm fine".
It began well, there was a smooth transition from there to an ending
that says The writer won't be fine, but will hold back and people
will say, "It's done!" Good job, I believed every word! ~ Geezer.
.
Thank you
I'm glad the title pulled you in just enough. Thanks for the feedback!
I too
dislike it when words go stubborn so my hands go "itchy"
I can relate.
Thank you for sharing Kristen.
Isn't it...
just the worst feeling?? Thanks for the feedback!