club special
Mar 01, 2013

20 Twenty 20

Death speaks to the lips
Of an impure vision
Its crooked spinal stature
Lifts its eyes
Above his whispered name

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I hate naming stuff, so its a mockery of sorts...

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Colorado

Favorite Poets: William Blake

More from this author

Comments

Esker

Esker

12 years 1 month ago

for some its a card swipe
a simple digital structure
as basic as the spring lock
tumbler system
magnetic pull and push

I can tell whats in my boxes
and plastic bins by the names
the folds on the corners
its placements
the vague translucent
shapes

like memories
my notepads in scrabble
scribble
just dates
but I know the shape
of the jumble to what
was ongoing that day

I like the title very much

Lifting the eyes above its name
like a prayer
the Pure madness
or pure direction
pushed into action

I love the movies of anti heroes
and the troubled biblical times
leaders like David

Ive read tons on Cults and
leaders
met those in packs
dangerous and prowling
intelligence off the charts

we begin to think we know
whats going on in the mind
of mankind
when we just have a map

we are not tube train trolley
lines

like the line
"its crooked spinal stature"

the use of stature suggest
tall and straight and narrow
the percieved notion of society
and its principles its ideologies

how we run out myths
and whispered

I ived with superstition
amongst the strong of
these peoples
speaking hushed names
and their priests and magic
women and men
purifying houses
objects
blessing items
on mission runs

modern and old school
looks are complete deception

this is a great mockery
also

Thank You!

Ross Hamilton Hill

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 1 month ago

I liked the very powerful images,
but it leaves me feeling cheated, there is not enough to it to fully engage my emotions or intellect. More a first stanza of an unfinished poem than something that is enough to stand alone.

(Frenchf.. 20 20 vision is perfect vision but not sure if this is what's meant.)