do HI FI ja HAIKU
Feb 01, 2017

0521200013.0528pm

squid ink stains novel / mirror phrase Calypso shark / pirate ship coins found.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Haiku meter is supposed to have seventeens syllables. No exceptions-- maybe a syllable more but never less. My haiku will always be an observation about people, family and events I always post the date on my writing like a Dewey decimal library item.

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Lakewood,Ohio USA

Favorite Poets: Laurence Lieberman and his Eros at the World Kite Pageant + W D Snodgrass+ ____ Schuyler "LITHIUM" + Nikki Giovanni + Maya Angelou. Harry Chapin wrote some great lyrics that stand alone as great poems.

More from this author

Comments

brittle light

are you the chief of Haiku police?

syllables are not directly correlated to the "on" of Japanese

you write the way you want, others, as they want.

All your Haiku may be beautiful and brilliant, but that has nothing to do with an arbitrary syllable count

I refuse to be intimidated by you, or anyone else's literary mandates, dictums or
proclamations.

by the way, welcome to Neopoet.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I do (when I am here)
there are so many wonderful people/ poets to engage with...
and we all want our say...and how we say it!

I could have been gentler with my remarks...but let's keep it real
we're all big boys and girls

stay tough (not mean)

till the next time,

Sparrow

Your write is spot on for the number of syllables,
but this is a Senryu,
a Haiku is about the four seasons

squid ink stains novel
mirror phrase Calypso shark
pirate ship coins found.

Yours Ian..

themoonman

Like has already been mentioned, traditional
haiku was normally about nature with the
17 syllable count ... but like everything else,
it has evolved.

The essence of haiku is "cutting" (kiru).[1] This is often represented by the juxtaposition of two images or ideas and a kireji ("cutting word") between them,[2] a kind of verbal punctuation mark which signals the moment of separation and colours the manner in which the juxtaposed elements are related.
Traditional haiku consist of 17 on (also known as morae though often loosely translated as "syllables"), in three phrases of 5, 7, and 5 on respectively.[3]
A kigo (seasonal reference), usually drawn from a saijiki, an extensive but defined list of such terms.
Modern Japanese haiku (現代俳句 gendai-haiku?) are increasingly unlikely to follow the tradition of 17 on or to take nature as their subject[citation needed], but the use of juxtaposition continues to be honored in both traditional and modern haiku.[4] There is a common, although relatively recent, perception that the images juxtaposed must be directly observed everyday objects or occurrences.[5]

Not sure I get the poem, probably just me.
Also not sure why you'd name your poem
with date. How are we to see the passion
when you're not even proud enough to
give your poem a unique name.