Description: A workshop concerning the fundamentals of poetic meter.
Leader: Wesley Snow
Moderator(s): Rula, Judyanne
Objectives: For those who have found meter difficult in the past, this workshop will be a comprehensive attempt at solving the difficulty once and for all.
Level of expertise: Open to all
Subject matter: Poetic meter and its application.
it seems
that trochee works best in high emotion poetry
yes
Ta dum ta dum ta dum - walking/happy
Ta ta dum ta ta dum ta ta dum - skipping/dancing
dum ta dum ta dum ta - serious/miserable
dum ta ta dum ta ta dum ta ta - tap dancing/corroboree
xxx
I agree.
Anapest has traditionally been used in light hearted faire, where dactyl was the meter of the ancient heroic epics.
Trochee is more immediate, where iamb is less so.
That last syllable
makes me crazy also. I always have to add it later when I figured out what was wrong with the meter.
Every time I do this.
On the other hand, I love your verse length.
trochaic
Precious moments last forever...
Yes.
But I expect it from you.
I am meter brain dead, wish
I am meter brain dead, wish you all well this is a workshop I really wish I had the time to join its one that I would greatly benefit from its such a shame my time here is only sporadic... I've had a read through and there has been some amazing work done ... congratulations folks the dream of this place being a workshop is realized in my mind ... Wesley you are a wonderful teacher you missed your calling, I think I said that before right ? lol hugs good to see you !!
I will come back when I can and try and wrap this ol' mind round it
love Jayne x
Hi Jayne
Hope you are feeling better now, hun.
Alid
I am here but completely lost
and am not sure if I can catch up. I will try though. My life keeps getting in the damn way of things.
There is no catching up.
You work at your own pace regardless of how the workshop moves. Whatever exercise you were on continue working it. Where were you?
Don't panic. The workshop will continue for as long as is necessary even if there is only one participant.
I am Director of the Mentor Program and I intend to act like it.
I repeat it again: if anyone is having extraordinary trouble with this, then PM me and we will work it out together.
Rula...My confusion continues
I tried to do a google to see if there is a simple explanation to see if a syllable is unstressed / unaccented or stressed / accented. Rather than finding a solution..it led to even more confusion...e.g. in the following example "in" is shown as both unaccented and accented....
indeterminate - IN de TERM in ATE
so i hope you can appreciate why I am finding it difficult to differentiate between the two..
at least I now know why there is no reliable guide to check if a syllable is unaccented or accented...
the google search also says that it also depends upon the "context" which further increases the degree of difficulty to be absolutely sure about a particular syllable being unaccented or accented....
besides if it has to do with "accent" the accents are very likely to change being subjective e.g. the "a" in "raj" can be pronounced by some as "a" in "far" or "a" in "fat"
you know what i mean? ;(
First of all
stressed and accented mean the same thing. It's just what you have learned. I use accented.
Second, you're overthinking this whole thing... like Stan said: slow down. You don't have to master it today. This is scheduled to be a long workshop moved slowly.
Third, you're scan of "indeterminate" was correct. What meter is it?
It is a catalectic trochaic trimeter.
Hang in there.
I'll be back.
Let's see.......
Stay! you hands don't move so quickly.
STAY you / HANDS don't / MOVE so / QUICKly
It's trochee,
but it feels forced. Sort of shoved into the meter, but I said I didn't care about anything but the meter and this is trochee. Time for a verse of dactyl. A falling meter. That should tell you enough, but I'll remind you it's one accented syllable followed by two unaccented syllables.
Dear Raj
I heard Wesley saying "don't panic", so I won't.
Look at the good side of it and how much we are gaining in a relatively short time.
Have you tried the trick of reading aloud?
I'm trying to develop it. It takes time, but who cares
it's all for fun and everything is gonna be OK :)
Having one more shot at anapest
am i WHAT | i am THOUGHT | to be NOT
being WHAT | i am OUGHT | to be GOOD
in the END | i will FIND | if i TRY
i am GOOD | in the NOW | is my VIEW
not sure if i hit the bullzeye :)
They worked.
It didn't make enough sense, but I said I didn't care. All I want is meter. A couple of spots are shaky:
being WHAT | i am ( I ) OUGHT | to be GOOD But of course that smucks with the meter. Life is hard and then we write poetry.
Go on to Part Two.
Wesley
are you saying I is stressed (accented)? makes me more confused ....
i
can be stressed, or unstressed, depending on where in the sentence it is placed
Often at the beginning or end of a sentence it is stressed
But it can be stressed in the middle, if following or leading into vowel sounds
I know this is confusing, but read it aloud, and you can't help stressing that second 'I'
Note the first 'i' is not stressed - it follows a 't' sound, which makes the speaker use the tongue and lips to meet... all pronouns are naturally unstressed after that
love judy
xxx
Fresh attempts
anapest quadra meter:-
in the LONG | -ing of HEART | are the NOTES | of a SONG
iambic pentameter:-
a SONG | is SOOTH | -ing WHEN | two HEARTS | igNITE
Trochaic Hexameter:-
DUET is | a GOOD | exCUSE | to LET | eMO | tions RIDE
not sure if i got one or two or all three right or one or two or all wrong
keeping my fingers X ed
anapest quadra meter:- yes
anapest quadra meter:- yes
in the LONG | -ing of HEART | are the NOTES | of a SONG
iambic pentameter:- not quite
a SONG | is SOOTH | -ing WHEN | two HEARTS | igNITE
a SONG | is SOOTH | -ing when | TWO HEARTS | igNITE
Trochaic Hexameter:- no, this is hexameter, mostly ianbic, with the second foot anapaest, and only the first trochee
DUET is | a GOOD | exCUSE | to LET | eMO | tions RIDE
DU-et | is a GOOD | ex -CUSE | to LET | e -MO | -tions RIDE
xxx
Raj - good attempts
anapest tetrameter:- yes
in the LONG | -ing of HEART | are the NOTES | of a SONG
a SONG | is SOOTH | -ing WHEN | two HEARTS | igNITE
- iambic pentameter:- not quite
a SONG | is SOOTH | -ing when | TWO HEARTS | igNITE
DUET is | a GOOD | exCUSE | to LET | eMO | tions RIDE
Trochaic Hexameter:- no, this is hexameter, mostly iambic, with the second foot anapaest, and only the first trochee
DU-et | is a GOOD | ex -CUSE | to LET | e -MO | -tions RIDE
xxx
:( back in the doldrums
Judyanne I wish you could loan me or lend me your phonetic ears at least when I have a go at these monsters :)
Don't be disheartened
You have iambic and anapaest under control, and in a very short time
just a small error in this submission of iambic - you know what it is, and can do it with practice
Forget trochee... for now... have you mixed iambic and anapaest yet?
If you have - sorry, so then... as for trochee - I find it the hardest of the four major beats, so don't be upset with yourself if you don't get it on your first few tries
Rome wasn't built in a day, and meter won't be mastered quickly - it takes practice
You have taken in a lot about feet, verses not lines, stanzas and meter in a very short time, and it shows in your poetry
Love judy
xxx
Trochee.
It doesn't bother me, but dactyl makes my head hurt. It's the only one of the four I simply cannot "write" in (if you know what I mean). I have to piece it together like a puzzle.
So see Raj and Alid, we all have difficulties with the metric structures, just not necessarily the same.
Trochee
In the rubbish of the attic.
Accent the first syllable in your mind and the rest will follow.
Judyanne
LEND me | FOR a | WHILE the | STRINGS of | VIOlin
Is this a Trochaic pentameter?
then will STRUM | them to HEAR | the unSTRESSED | or the STRESSED| de ci BELS
is this anapest pentameter?
if I | keep HEAR| -ing THOSE | a THOU | a DAY
Is this iambic pentameter?
cheers and wolf whistles
Well done Raj
only the last foot of anapaest is out - DEC - i -bels
and I read your 'I' in your iambic as unstressed - making that foot one of two unstressed syllables, which is called pyrrhic ... but someone may disagree with me because of the context
xxx
Judyanne
thank you for all the trouble you have taken. I don't know what i need to do to convince everyone that these restrictive forms are not for me...i don't have an ear to figure out the accented and unaccented syllables...i really don't...all my attempts are like 1 step forward and 10 behind...
whether you know it or not
it is coming from your subconscious
you already were naturally pretty good with rhythm before you started learning what it actually is
even though you think it is not, what you are learning is sinking in, as it is coming out very definitely in your poetry
xxx
raj
you are not so much having trouble writing in meter as you are having trouble identifying the different meters. Just as I do. But few things worthwhile are attained easily so just do like I am, keep plugging along with the faith you'll get it right........stan, the unmetered man
Not me.
She's right Raj. A pyrrhic.
Don't sweat the "I".
It is grammatically necessary to make the sentence complete, but we don't care about anything but the meter. I mentioned it because I can't help fixing stuff that way. If you use it you will destroy the meter which works well.
Judyanne, I love the length.
I was hoping to see more trochee attempts.
Anyone willing to try. I will run this workshop until I have no more participants, but I hope to have a few left willing to make the attempt.
another trochee try
WES! you/ SHOULD res/POND to/ MY last/ ATTempt............dated 3-11 lol
I can't find the damn thing, but I won't stop trying.
.
May be right, may be wrong
Like the summer rain rouses sweet aroma --Trochaic?
a pink blush does glow upon your rosy cheeks -- anapest?
what is felt in such a tiny measure -- Trochaic
is bliss not a dime or a dollar can bring -- anapest?
a passing cloud may not bear drops of rain - Iambic pentameter?
though a drop of dew often moisten most eyes -- anapest + trochaic ?
if not meter consider let go as free verse..
Regards,
Finally
everyone is tired of giving comments to my attempts....I don't blame them at all..because there comes a time when even the mentors and well wishers realize the truth...
it is pretty satisfying in a way that i tried and tried to the point that others gave up on me...so with due regards to all...i retire from this as well as any future WS...
patience is a virtue Raj
You need to give people time to comment
xxx
No way I'm giving up.
If this were the Shark Pool I would circle you menacingly until you figured it out. Tough love.
In the Wading Pool I will beat you with a rubber ducky.
First verse begins trochee then you switch to I don't know what.
Iamb. The first three syllables make an iamb into a spondee (two stressed syllables together), the rest is essentially iamb. You could force an anapestic read, but that's what it would read like.
Third line is trochaic pentameter.
It IS anapest, but there is something different that mucks with the meter. It's not a bad thing. The line is Catalectic. This mean that one foot, either at the front or the rear, is minus part of it's full structure. An iamb begins without the unstressed syllable or a trochee absent its stressed syllable.
Your verse is missing the first unstressed syllable then the rest of the verse is anapest.
The next is iambic pentameter.
I will not comment on this verse. Do not combine trochee and anapest. They are each other's natural opposite and therefore work horribly together. This is why I separated the workshop in two. I wanted to teach the use of combining meter, but also which meter NOT to combine. Try it and you will get a poetic mess. The meters fight like cats and dogs.
Alright, I will critique the last line. It is a combination of iamb and anapest. Not very clear, but better than I feared.
I think you're getting the idea here. You're having way more success than failure. It's time to up your game. You've shown me trochee. Let's see dactyl. More than just dactyl, but "heroic" dactyl.
Dactylic Hexameter. The meter of the ancient poets like Homer, Virgil and more.
Dactyl is nothing more than the opposite of anapest. It is an accented syllable followed by two unaccented syllables.
Hexameter just means six. Six poetic feet per verse. That's only one longer than pentameter.
Just one verse will do.
The best tool you have is your own instincts...
and your voice of course. Say the words out loud naturally. As though it were prose and you will hear where the accents truly lie. Then fix the poem accordingly.
For example: you could accent any one syllable in "indeterminate" and it would work. It's the context of the verse that will decide the accents.
There is no guide. That's why we have workshops. To work these things out.
What exercise are you on? Don't give up 'til the fat lady sings.
Wesley
all i can say is i am trying like i just did., even though I know my best may not be good enough, Period.
Regards,
Hi raj
Have you ever read a poem which had the right number of syllables per line, perfect rhyming and good word use but for some reason it just didn't seem right? (I know you have because you read a lot of my stuff). Likely what you were bothered with but didn't have a name for was a mixing of more than one of the wrong (uncomplimentary) meters. Avoiding doing this type writing on accident is what this shop is a lot about. So hang in there at least as long as I do because it gives me trouble too........stan
No, no
what was the last exercise you did? Are you on trochee?
comic relief
which syllable is stressed in trictridecaphobia?
trictridecaphobia huh? OK, I'm in.
Trictridecaphobia foils my intent attempts
To replicate Hitchcock’s twenty first own film
Trictri/decapho/bia foils/ my intent/ attempts
iamb/anapaest/anapaest/anapaest/iamb/
To repl/icate Hitch/cock’s twen/ty first/ own film
iamb/anapaest/iamb/iamb/iamb (or possibly spondee)/
Mixed iambic and anapaestic pentameter. Just couldn't resist the challenge. And it actually makes sense if you define trictridecaphobia as the irrational fear of the number 39. [grins].
And here is what it sounds like
https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/trictridecaphobia
I
Must have misspelled it. The word I Meant to post means the unreasoning fear of the number 13 lol
that would be Triskaidekaphobia
Triskaidekaphobia. Still fits my scansion.
If you copy and paste you can't make mistakes, mate. Click and drag to select. Hold ctrl and press c to copy memory, click at the point where you want to insert the text, hold ctrl and press v, hey presto. A retarded elephant with palsy could do it.
hard
to copy and paste memory which is what I used lol. Last time I used that word was over 30 years ago.
ooops, typo
it should say-
press c to copy to memory
I really recomment recording the spoken word
to anyone struggling here.
www.vocaroo.com is easy, free intuitive and you don't even have to join, though not archival or soundcloud.com which you need to join, free and is archival.
It’s not getting harder… only different.
Next exercise.
Dactyl. (Gr. “finger”).
We have been working on Anapest, so we have experience with three syllable poetic feet.
If anapest is a rising foot (meaning it comes from unstressed syllables to a stressed syllable) then dactyl is a falling foot. It is made of three syllables with the first (or highest) a stressed syllable followed by two unstressed syllables.
It is the natural opposite of anapest which is why it is sometimes referred to as the anti anapest.
Same first exercise, same offer of help personally if you have too many questions.
Write a single verse in dactyl. Any length and it needn’t make sense even. Just good meter.
My try for dactyl
SING to the /DAWN for the/ QUEEN has re/TURNED to us!
Is this right?
Alid
excellent
clapping
xxx
I also think excellent.
.
To Judy and Wes
Thank you. Couldn't have done it without your aid.
Alid
mine
once in a while situations can change for societies benefit
once in a | while sit - u | -a -tions can | change for so | ci -e -ties | ben - e- -fit |
dactyl hexameter
xxx
The very meter of the ancients.
Homer, Virgil, Sappho, Ovid.
A very special meter and yours is excellent. Jess will be pleased you used polysyllabic words.
trochaic
Lilies sing and sway then words go silent
It is even elegant.
I know you understand these concepts and have for some time. Try a dactyl verse.
Here goes....sumpin
FIGHT ye men, /FIGHT fierce and /PROUD lest this /DAY be lost
YES!
First out of the nest and you nailed it. A silly thought here, but... I think like left handed, right handed a poet can either "think" in anapest or dactyl. I can write in anapest with relative ease, dactyl gives me emotional hives, it just cuts through my anti depressants like they weren't expensive.
Maybe you're dactylitic?
This is the sort of subject matter that engenders dropouts.
I'm impressed that those who have hung in have hung in with their all.
I guaranteed success to those who try, but you must try.
Raj and Alid, don't quit now. You've shown the beginnings of a mastery of the first three forms, only dactyl remains. You've already learned enough to be prepared to learn another meter that looks just like the others.
Stan, I know you'll stick it through dactyl because you like the emotional rush it gives you.
I really wish anyone involved with this workshop would say thank you to Rula and Judyanne without whom this would not have worked. They both offered informed and energetic comments and critiques.
I am left without purpose, but in the process I have created a couple of monsters who will be running workshops in the reasonably near future.
Start thinking of a subject matter you think would be informative and entertaining.
Carrie... where are you?
And that goes for those who started with us, but missed out on all the misery that followed.
On to dactyl please.
Wes
but I HAVE done the tryout for dactyl and both you and Judy passed it!
SING to the /DAWN for the/ QUEEN has re/TURNED to us!
Alid
I have bad news.
That verse is anapest. It opens with two unstressed syllables followed by an accented syllable.
anapest.
Now think like a poet. Dactyl is the natural opposite of anapest. Where will that place the accent?
It's still a three syllable foot and known as a falling foot.
All these things point to dactyl being an accented syllable followed by two unaccented syllable.
Note that the first syllable in each trochee and dactyl are accented. This is why they work well together.
Please try again knowing what you know now.
Wes
You're confusing Alid
Sing to the dawn for the queen has returned to us ' .... is dactyl
xxx
My mind is oatmeal.
Alid, ignore me, my brain was elsewhere on another poem and I just rambled. My apologies.
No prob, Wes
with so many comments here, I can see how hard it is for you.
Alid
I appreciate Everybody
in both this shop and others who have had so much patience with a stumbler like me. There may be a lot more to good poetry than exacting form and rhythm but without at least a bit of both the best we can hope to produce is poetic prose........stan
A link to the second page
Of the workshop.
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/meter-our-friend?page=1#comment-119499
sorry..duplicated
.
echooooo
.
dactyl
Watching the buds of the Spring in their blooming emits a hope in the ominous
Rula
watch -ing the | buds of the | Spring in their | bloom -ing e | - mits a | hope in the | om -in -ous
you have a trochee in the 5th foot, which turns you around to anapaest
xxx
I don't see the anapest.
I do see the two trochee which screws up a perfect dactyl, but makes a nice entry to combination.
now it's me who's not concentrating
All dactyl, except 5th foot - only one trochee though - where do you see the second Wes
xxx
You're right.
Just one. A combination verse.
I think the last
is dactyl also.
dactyl tetrameter
DANCE in the/ SHAows, the/ DEmons are /HIDing there
is the above
verse approved?
Yes.
Creepy.
I'd like to know
if these meters have special function.
In other words, what kind of writing each of these meters work better?
Excellent question!
These are not all my ideas. Iamb seems most popular because it most reflects the rhythm of the natural human voice. English speaking people use it in poetry in larger amount because... it is easy.
Anapest has a softer sound and has traditionally been used in humorous or sentimental poetry. Anapest as iamb is made for love poems and other romance. Pastoral for instance.
Trochee has a harsher, more immediate sound and its pair, dactyl, have been the metric basis of not only the ancient epics from such as Homer, Virgil, and Sappho, but also epic adventure tales through the centuries.
So the meters have personalities. Remember that iamb and trochee don’t play well together.
When you write in dactyl be sure you write with some length in honor of the epics.
When you write your Ballade you will write in a metric scheme that matches the drama in your story.
Does that answer some of your questions?
.
Thank you sir!
Thank you sir!
Some folks
might be wondering what their personal "natural" meter is. Close your eyes and with no haste take a normal breath the start talking without haste. When you pause for breath count the number of feet you've spoken. This should be your natural meter and , use, it varies both from person to person and also with age. I suspect the average among a large group of people will be pentameter......I'll no hide while the experts here tell me how wrong I am lol
Probably right, Stan
Our hearts beat in Iambic!
Where are my dactyl example?
We need something to critique. Has everyone given up?
Oh Stan, I agree. I think I talk in dactyl. Suddenly expressive then quieter and on.
Hi all!
Is anyone else having difficulty finding the new comments? I searched in both pages but can't find them.
Alid
I'm pretty sure I'm at the end of page two.
What comments do you mean are missing?
Not sure, Wes
Sometimes I checked the updtes, it ws dispyed 13 new comme4nts here but TRY as I may, I can't seem to get that number right, so I don't know what I'm missing.
Alid
Mine this time
gave me yours alone. I think some gremlins are causing mischief. I'm having other problems too.
here goes
you got me?
Alid
I got you?
Now where is everyone else? I think my workshop has died a natural death. That makes you the official die hard.
Wonderful workshop
But I've ran to the hills. Sorry. i will though be back
I will be back
I'll join meters again anytime I did get anapest but I ran for the hill on this. Lol sorry((hugs))
A splurt for your perusal
poets worship drama, almost willing
poets/ worship/ drama/, almost/ willing [trochaic pentameter]
death to something lame or puerile, leading
death to/ something/ lame or/ puerile,/ leading [trochaic pentameter]
needlessly, tragically, virtually, truth is not withstanding,
needlessly,/ tragically,/ virtually,/ truth is/ not with/standing, [mixed trochaic and dactylic hexameter]
forces forcing a new refrain, it's easy, really.
forces/ forcing a/ new re/frain, it's/ easy,/ really. [mixed trochaic and dactylic hexameter]
This reminds me of an aspect of dactylic and trochaic not aforementioned, there is such a strong impulse to end a verse on a stressed/accented syllable there is a strong urge to enjambment in these forms.
That last syllable has made me nuts.
I would write a trochaic line and couldn't figure out why it wasn't right with it staring me in the face.
Why not stop
beating around the bush and let us try combining 2 complimentary meters in a short poem?
lol - can't help myself
Do you want to combine myers and target Stan?
xxx
You don't know what meyers are???
They are a special type meter which describes my usual rhythm. MessY +metER = meyers.
lol
You cheated and changed myers
Still laughing
xxx
For gosh sake,
go for it. I'll announce it.
Dactyl attempt 2
Murmuring deepening water will fall then disappear,
Lost in the mountains own deepening vistas now beckoning
Yours Ian.
Almost there Ian
murmuring/, deep waters/ meander from/ my view.
Lost in the/ mountains of/ beautiful /vistas now
The first line.... feet No. 1 only is dactyl
2nd line, 1, 2 and 3 are dactyl
A good attempt.
Feel free to give more. :)
Rula
thought I would try the hard ones first, then the rest should be easy, I have now changed the two liner I hope it is better as I have now gone over to penty something lol,
Take care young lady and know we think of you, Yours Ian
Murmuring /deepening/ water
Murmuring /deepening/ water will /fall then dis/appear... the last foot is iamb
Lost in the / mountains own /deepening /vistas now /beckoning... the second foot messed a little.
but all in all, a very good attempt.
Now it would be really great to see your attempts in a full poem.
Stan has made a request.
He would like us to have the opportunity to write a poem with two complimentary meters and post it on the Stream to demonstrate what we have learned (I know I have).
Let's limit the poem to four quatrains (four verses per stanza). Remember that complementary means: iamb and anapest or trochee and dactyl. Don't try mixing them all or say, iamb and trochee, you'll just make a mess.
Everyone still hanging in this workshop let's see what you've got now. Clean meter, appropriate combinations.
Post them just like a poem to the Stream with Meter next to the title.
Just for fun
It's easy/ it's pleasing/watching Li/lacs in teens
Swaying in / wilderness/ dancing on/slender feet
Well Done!
It's ea/sy it's pleas/ing watch/ing Li/lacs in teens ( a mix of anapest and iamb)
Swaying in / wilderness/ dancing on/slender /feet ( a mix of dactyl and trochic with a half a foot less by the end of verse two.)
Well done raj!
query
how long is a foot in each of the meters discussed thus far (in terms of syllable counts)
Regards,
It depends on which mode you are using.
You can answer this yourself by now.
Iamb has two syllables, anapest has three. That's the maximum in modern poetry.
Don't sweat syllable counts. Count poetic feet. If a line has five iambic feet, what does that make the metric structure?
It is "pentameter" (penta is Greek for five).
All of these have been put down in lists by Rula and Judyanne earlier on. Seek them out. If you can't answer your questions with those lists then come back and talk to me some more.
the length of each feet in
the length of each feet in terms of syllable count
(iamb) two syllables unstressed STRESSED e.g / he LIVES/
(anapest) three syllables unstressed unstressed STRESSED / I be-LIEVE /
(trochee) two syllables STRESSED unstressed /TER-ror/
(dactyl) three syllables STRESSED unstressed unstressed / LI-mit-less/
I'm anxious to go to submissions and see what's there.
.
Sharing a few song lines i
Sharing a few song lines i had written to know if they follow a particular meter or would be categorized as free verse. (Verses belong to different songs?-
If you wish I sing for you, you never have to look so far
feel me humming in your ear, hear me whisper in your heart
Waiting on the beach, i keep pining for your heart
searching for your eyes, my sweet heart
soon you will come flowing in my arms
with a twinkle in your eyes like the stars
Tall as the trees and green as grass
In our garden let the jasmines spread your fragrance all the while
may the tulips dew and luster through each dawn, through each morn
lavendars do love to mingle with fragrance of jasmine
dahlias too love to dangle, in all hues, in all blues
Regards,
Yep.
Verso Libre.
There is very little that I would call a consistent meter, but put to music all meter is different.
How about these?
her almond / eyes instant / -ly engrossed / me in depths / of her charm [anapest pentameter]
magic / factor / within / is beyond / her eyelids [ trochaic - anapest]
the myth / will never / be resolved / until dreams / of her form [anapest pentameter]
stop se / -ducing / and she / is my bride / me her groom [trochaic - anapest]
Regards,
Raj
the first line is a mix of both iamb and anapest , which is good
line 2... Remember, don't mix trochaic and anapest
Line 3 ... I read as iamb mostly except "until (the) dreams... "and of her form" (anapest)
Rula
Thanks for the time and your honest comment. So the story of my failure continues with these strict forms...
Regards & thanks,
Oh raj
please don't be over disheartened.
Keep it for the fun side of your life or quit it forever.
Never mind Rula
Please note that I have appreciated your honest comment which is valuable.
The positive side of these failures continuum is that good folks here would realize my limitations and will appreciate why I opt out of Workshops and contests.
Moreover, as a way out, even though I keep trying out various forms, I am now careful not to mention which form this poem is about. For me whatever I write is free [freedom of mind] form
Regards,
I started to believe
that there are people who are more comfortable with iamb and anapest while others with trochaic and dactyl. I heard someone saying it's like being right handed and left-handed people.
On my submission yesterday, I attempted trochee and dactyl, but the result was horrible, so I changed to anapest and iamb. Still not sure if it works any better with sir Wesley.
If i feel suffocated, I am
If i feel suffocated, I am considering migrating to another site for a while, till i regin my self confidence which presently is at a very low ebb...
Regards,
now raj
there is no need to migrate. You are a very good poet who is trying to become better by stepping outside your comfort zone. And any time anybody leaves their comfort zone there will be mistakes made but they will be off set by increased skills. If you do anything, why not take a break from shops. I Know they can become a grind. Missing one or two while letting your muse run free won't hurt and it's pretty likely any shop you miss will be repeated at a later date...........stan
Raj
hold on. Maybe you just need a few more practice to get it right.
Alid
Salam, Rula
I posted another one with dactyl and trochee combo entited "Quest". Tel me what you think.
Alid
Raj,
Don't overthink this. Stan was right and after all... it's only poetry.
My Story
someone here once said to me
Hey come! meter is our friend
I tried so hard to get her nod
but she refused to befriend me
in hushed tones I asked some dear friends
what's the trick to please Ms. Meter
I tried to match every code of conduct
but she refused to even look my way
so i paused for a while to follow the signs
which perhaps could lead me to her domain
I thought I did find a way to her den
but she snarled at me when i did get there
so for now i thought i would duck
each time she happened my way
may be for now i must lie low
and hope for that moment of luck..
So for now I bid her adieu
wishing best for all her friends
sooner or later, I hope to be
one amongst a lot of them
And after such an exemplary farewell...
let's end this adventure and move on to new ones.
Thank you to everyone who struggled with us. I have good news though... expect this workshop on a regular basis. I said everyone will understand and you will... if it takes me years.
Thank you sir
It was an adventure, but I always felt safe knowing you are the leader.