China Blue
By China Blue, 26 August, 2015
Participants
China Blue
Sparrow
wesley snow
scribbler
lovedly
Rula
alidzain
Skill level
Shark Pool
Date
-
Short description
given above
alidzain

It's a busy month for me so I can't join the workshop but I'll peek in whenever I can to offer my support, ok. Good luck!

Alid

Sparrow

I shall try and go to war on this one lol.
Yours as always, Ian..
.

China Blue

Thank you for joining us I am sure you will excel as always

Sparrow

I have put a piece on my A-N of poetry with a load of metaphors so that others can see what its about, and their way of being used, Hope you have a look at it, there may be some usable stuff there,
Yours as always Ian..

Rula

Rula

9 years 8 months ago

I tried to track that piece, but unfortunately I failed. The thread "forms from A-N", though really rich, yet it's stuffed. There must be a way to make it easier to locate what we need to read about. Maybe you can underline the titles? I know it is a time-consuming work, but it is worth it for all what that thread tells.

Sparrow

I have tried to improve the A-Z but it is a long time consuming task, if you need a title such as the Metaphors just pm me and I will copy and past those you need to look up.
I will send them to any that asks, but I have put them in the Metaphor section of my A-N
Hope these are of help to the up and coming workshop, Yours as always Ian .

Sparrow

Wesley, there is no way to the A-N from here t is a Blog and if you go to my works you will see it there, not sure I can put a link to the article, Others will have to do what I do and put Metaphor in the search engine and there you will find several sites that carry enough info for anyone to complete the workshop.
There is a need for a notice board where these things can be pinned, not to worry if anyone needs any from me they only have to ask and I will PM the list,
Take care out there, Yours Ian..

wesley snow

and I'm trying to get him to post a link to it so it's easy to find. It is a good resource.
You post a link by copying the address bar at the top of your computer, then paste it where you want it to go.
For example I could copy the address bar on this page, go somewhere else and paste the address bar's information. Then someone can click on it and come here automatically.
That may not make enough sense, but I tried. The computer and I don't get along.

wesley snow

That's too much at once for the moment. Chrys has not even begun the workshop and I, for one, want to see where she wants to go.
Please don't preempt her too aggressively.
She has a plan. Let it play out first.

Sparrow

At least I have a comment from you lol, I have edited the Metaphors out of my comment so they will have to go look or them.
Take care, Yours Ian.T

S

Please count me in. I'm tire of metathrees and am ready to move on to metafours............now ducking for pun induced stone hurling lol.......stan

weirdelf

so sorry I can't participate, typing with one finger after nearly severing the middle finger of my left hand ( I'm left-handed) typing is a real pain. (one shouldn't really try to dance to the B52s 'Rock Lobster' at my age)
I'll follow with interest.
I think you can also see from the members joining that we really, really need new members. Lots of them. If we are not both on the upcoming AC I hope you will make a membership drive a priority.

China Blue

what in the blue blazes were you doing something like that for
pm me about the AC elections and membership drive

China Blue

OK let's not waste any time here. We are going to start the workshop a little different
no opening dicsussion

Forget about metaphors for a moment just put them aside.

I would like you to pretend that you are a visitor from another planet. Your planet has never seen or felt the likes of emotion
no happy,sorrow,glad etc

Take all the emotions you know of list them here

Joy,Sadness you can go on to list happy , sad, blue etc but it all boils down to two emotions either negative or positive

now remember you know neither of these
write a poem( short) about how you think they feel like

example: you see someone laughing, or crying
ok go for it

S

Joy, profound joy, sadness and profound, happy, aggravated, patience, impatience, pride, shame,anger, forgiveness,stubbornness,content, ambition,envy......... I reckon I should leave a few for others lol......stan

I am as steel
you are my temper
you alone can make me feel
indeed, whimper

wesley snow

Manic, panicked, amain (a state of rage characterized by excessive and reckless violence), apprehensive, uncomfortable, edgy, ecstatic, annoyed, worried, concerned, just plain fearful, disgusted, I think I could list more.

China Blue

you see someone crying (remember you are from another planet) you are curious what is the wet stuff coming out of the eyes and why does this happen? what does it feel likeor what does you guess it feels like since you do not know what tears are and what emotions are that produced therm
or a child is squealing in glee
what is the sound , what produces it. why is the child making the sound

this is what I am looking for in the first right

the object here is to question emotions with an empty knowledge of it you will see how it fits in further down the line

S

I see all the things called emotions
Which defy all logic to me
people nearly crying oceans
from "sadness" or being "angry".

Tell me how one such as I
can determine how they "feel"
for no matter how I try
I can't comprehend "woe" or" Weal".

Is anger just like being burned
or is it cold as glacial ice?
Is joy like a new theorem learned
and exactly what is "nice"?

Hopefully this is closer to what you want. What would be tough is Really explaining emotion to one who has never experienced it. Would be like trying to explain color to one born blind. You could explain about variable wavelengths of light resulting in different perceptions but does that really get across the beauty of amethyst ?...............stan

China Blue

he knew of it yes but never experienced it that is why I approved Stan's poem
would you like to join us? Besides this is not a workshop on spock

wesley snow

You're a thresher shark. Get in the water.
Seriously, you could benefit from this workshop. Metaphors are hard, but necessary if you wish to write elegantly, creatively.
Get in the water before I make you a mentor and command you to.

S

If we want to be exacting Spock was half human and half Vulcan . Thus he knows what emotions are but his upbringing on his Vulcan father's culture forbade his displaying emotions. I took liberty in using Spock's name when perhaps Serik's name ( Spocks father) would be more accurate. ........stan

China Blue

perfect now go again and post to stream please don't forget to enter as a workshopsubmission

alidzain

confused, grief, hate, jealousy.

A blinking eye,
staring, not understanding.
Is it truth or a lie?
A face crumpling.

Trickles of water dripping.
A voice screaming
'' I hate you! Go and die!''
Legs running, no goodbye.

A boy standing, unmoving.
The second girl demanding.
''Who is she?''. No reply.
Another left, chances fly..

What do you think?

Alid

China Blue

read your poem and although I like it
not quite what I was looking for do not use either negative nor positive emotion or metaphor yet
remember you are from another planet see "musings of an android"

alidzain

Whose poem are you refering to? I didn't see Wes's poem..

Alid

China Blue

waiting for IAN RULA and LOVEDLY to post and comment so we can move on undertanding that this is the weekend if I hear nothing by Tuesday we will move on

wesley snow

Chrys may be having computer problems. We haven't been able to contact her, but we're trying. If we can't, Rula and I will continue along the lines of Chrys' plan.
We will begin an exercise using metaphors tomorrow and ultimately we will have to discuss "simile" and how they relate to metaphors.
Is everyone still with us? There is still a lot to do.

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

Until Chrys or Wesley appear or hopefully both, let's continue with more figures of speech that are related to metaphor as figurative parts of speech.

Simile is a known as an effective tool that is very often used in writing poetry. The main difference between metaphor and simile is that with simile we use "as" or "like" WHILE in metaphor we don't. e.g The girl is the sun (metaphor)

The girl is like the sun (simile)

However, it is VERY important to draw the attention here to the fact that what makes simile and such tools effective is trying to bring the similarities between TWO THINGS that look to be very different.

The differences rather than the similarities between objects, concepts, and entities is what bring the real "juice" to the poem, and so it is playing with the difference via juxtaposition what creates a range of poetic effects This is why writing: “the shark moved like a fish” IS a lot less interesting than saying “the shark moved like a squad car.”

To make sure this is clear, please provide two or more examples of metaphor or simile or both .

alidzain

Metaphors-

I'll be the light in your darkest night.

Will you be the temple of my heart?

Similes

He darted forward like an arrow.

She is as white as snow.

Alid

wesley snow

is a metaphor I think. You used "as" which means she is truly as white as snow. A simile would be "she is like the color of snow". Which means she's sorta like the color of snow, but not exactly.

Rula

As we said earlier, with simile we use either "as" OR "Like" and here lies the main difference between the simile and the metaphor. For metaphor we don't need to use any of these two.

 But, in Khalid's example, it was enough to say She is white as snow, which is a bit different in its meaning from She's as white as snow, as earlier explained by sir Wesley.

S

Stan writes sonnets like a donkey

wesley snow

on both of you. You both have written excellent sonnets in the past. I have read them, so you cannot deny it.

Now, can you write a "Ballade"? When we are through here I will start that workshop in the Shark Pool. I don't want any more than five participants, please be ready... if you dare.

S

My love is like a clear spring day

Breeze brushed my skin like a lover's caress

He ran, leaping, through the woods like a deer

The poet sat scratching his head like a baffled monkey

His anger burned like a fever

Sparrow

For Chrys's workshop:-

I fell in love
Tears flooded
Rainbow feelings
I waited dead calm
An angel you were

There me a devil
It captured me
Wrapped me in tingles
Then I awoke
Lost as a singularity

Yours Ian ..

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

Good verses
I bet she'd be happy to read them :)

Sparrow

This is just a write for the workshop, and it's about a dream creature and they are never of substance, lol
Yours as always Ian..
I shall write abut something else less you think I am in love with a dream lol

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

Please don't stop bringing more. Practice makes perfect and we can do always do better when we are not under pressure.

Here are more

*Her eyes are his balcony view to the world.
*He blows volcanoes when he's angry.

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

Seems like Chrys has some serious problems. So let's think of the next exercise.

We need now to think of description of a subject. ANY SUBJECT.
We need to think of a full description of it. Material or texture, weight, how does it look like, color... etc.

The idea behind this assignment is NOT TO USE ANY METAPHOR.

When your descriptive poem is ready, please stream it. DON'T forget to add the workshop's name to the title and chose it from the menue drop list.

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

Let's do something different this time. When you submit your descriptive poem, please make sure to give a short assessment of your poem. Tell us where do you think you've fulfilled the assignment requirements and where you felt less convenient and thus need to re-work. What areas you've covered and what areas you haven't.

We must do this step before the others come to critic your poem.
I have just submitted mine and I'll be the first to do the self assessment.

S

ME having to do a descriptive poem? However shall I accomplish such an onerous task? lmao. The self critique will be tough though. Now to the quill (ok , the bic) to see what I can come up with........stan

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

I have just added you. You must be able to find it now.

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

While waiting for both Loved's and Ian's submissions of the second assignment, we'll need to think of the next piece which is related to the second assignment which we have already finished about writing without using metaphor or simile.

What we are going to do is to use the SAME subject but this time we are describing it by using metaphor and simile and/ or any other tools you find affective to make the two "different" things look similar.

I will talk about two extra tools you might like to include in your poem.

wesley snow

mostly ready for the two secret tools you have.

I must have them!
Don't make me take them from you...

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

 

I thought we can't talk about metaphor without talking about two other figures of speech; synecdoche and metonymy

A synecdoche is a type of trope, which is a figure of speech. When used in literature, a synecdoche will add to the visual imagery of the passage and enhance the reader’s experience.

1. A synecdoche may use part of something to represent the entire whole.

The word “bread” can be used to represent food in general or money.

 
2. it may use an entire whole thing to represent a part of it.
The "pentagon" can refer to a few decision-making generals.
 
 
3. It can use a word or phrase as a class that will express less or more than the word or phrase actually means.

One example of this is referring to the United States as “America” when the “Americas” is actually made up of many countries

 

4. A synecdoche may also refer to an object by the material it is made from or refer to the contents in a container by the name of the container
 Silverware or dishes made of silver may be called “silver” even if they aren't sold silver.
 

     

     

 

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

•A metonymy is a substitution where a word or phrase is used in place of another word or phrase.

A good example is the phrase “The pen is mightier than the sword.”

The word “pen” substitutes for written work, and the word “sword” substitutes for violence or warfare.

 

This is just a quick look into the two terms - figures of speech - which might spice up our writings.

Hope the examples make them pretty clear for everyone.

 

alidzain

the third assignment, well, do you mean to use the same poem, only edit it or another one with the same title or the title can be different but following the same theme? I just need to reconfirm...

Alid

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

You need to write a new piece about the same subject. You wrote about the space, so you need to write about the space again using whatever figures of speech you need; metaphor, simile, synecdoche and metonymy

alidzain

Ouch! That's gonna be a headache. Now I regret choosing that theme.lol. Give me some time. I'll be challenging myself again just like I did when I attempt to write the sonnets.

Alid

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

For Stan's and Ian's 3rd submission before we assign the last one

Sparrow

My 3rd piece is on the top of my 2nd you may see it contains Metaphors now lol,
Take care young lady of the sand blown lands,
I wish you well,
Yours Ian

S

I finally got 3rd assignment posted. I decided the emotional aspect might best be expressed by a continuation (with simile, metaphor and emotion added) of "Borg's Tale". Now I'm only behind in assignment 4. I wonder what the heck has been taking up my spare time? lol............stan

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

before we come to the end, let's please consider writing a poem in which we'd limit all the figures of speech used to refer to "one theme", or what might be called " one thematic unity, so, all the metaphors used should be connected to for example schools, or let's say weather, or sea...etc.

As we had previously written about different subjects rather than emotions, it is good now if we can give emotions more attention. I shall keep this optional however, so for the last assignment you either take an emotion and restrict your metaphor to one general theme, or choose again any subject matter but again you need it to be restricted to one thematic unity.

Please let me know if this is clear.

Rula

Rula

9 years 7 months ago

of what is "one thematic unity" for metaphor. Weather here is the metaphor used. Please notice the words "thunderstorm", "rain" and "hail" all used metaphorically to describe an emotion such as "Anger".

 

My anger is a thunderstorm

that rains sorrow

and hails regret

Rula

Rula

9 years 6 months ago

Ok. I think I have brought here everything I needed to about metaphor, at least for the time being. I'm not sure how informative or useful the workshop was, but I am well satisfied if it has put some fresh breath in all's poetry especially those who continued till the end with real persistance though they knew I was supposed to be here as a moderator, so again many thanks for bearing with me.
If you have any assignments or comments to add, please do the coming few days. I do appreciate it if you could check out if you gave a comment on all the submissions (including mine) LOL.

Thank you again and let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions or feedback to add.

Description:learning how to describe emotions through the use of metaphors,short discussion exercises(short)at least five poems will be written,comparison charts for use in the poem section of workshop

Leader: china blue
Moderator(s): Rula

Objectives:stated above

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter:
emotions and metaphors