Benjamin1987
Benjamin1987
Sep 15, 2012

Battle Scars

I was there
in the dirty, rotten
rat infested and mud caked
trenches of Gallipoli

Fighting and wrestling
with the Turks
with shells whizzing over head
not gaining much ground

Losing my leg
coming home to the awkward
stares of strangers on the streets

Having my own battle
in my mind never
leaving the field of battle

Watching from my porch
the swarms of uniform clad young men
marching to the music of battle
with senses of patriotism
flowing through their blood

Making me wonder what
horrors they will witness
and pondering if their lives
will forever be changed

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Boston, Massachusetts, USA

Favorite Poets: The Beat Generation

More from this author

Comments

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 7 months ago

I like the fact that your poem is about war, this particular war is remembered by the Commonwealth people as a place of hero's where 6 Victoria crosses were won and so on.
The figures of casualties I will list below, it was more of a defeat for a long time and many troops were lost, it was a sad war that sent thousands to their deaths, horses against Machine guns and many other stupid errors.
Have a read up of that particular theatre of war if you haven't already there is much to learn of who did what and the dubious reasons,
Yours Ian.T

Gallipoli casualties
Source: Australian Department of Veterans' Affairs[39]
Dead Wounded Total
Total Allies 44,092 96,937 141,029
– United Kingdom [40] 43,000 76,696 119,696
– France (estimated) 10,000 17,000 27,000
– Australia[5] 8,709 19,441 28,150
– New Zealand[5] 2,721 4,752 7,473
– British India 1,358 3,421 4,779
– Newfoundland 49 93 142
Ottoman empire 86,692 164,617 251,309
Total (both sides) 130,784 261,554 392,338