Humid air envelopes like a lover
on this warm mid-summer day
The wind's so still it seems to hover
refusing to set trees to sway
I slowly walk through quiet green
which filters out the mid-day sun
whose scattered lances still are seen
piercing the leaves to floor of dun
Slow pace determined by the heat
even birds' flight seems to slow
with wings that hardly even beat
while casting shadows down below
Between planting and the harvest time
this lethargic pace is best
and rapid movement seems a crime
best sit within the shade and rest
Indeed it seems the very day
is in no hurry to depart
taking hours more to end its stay
after a calm dewy start
So I sit while silence rings
on this shaded silent hill
soaking up the peace such stillness brings
while awaiting evening's whippoorwill
Comments
Hello Stan
I am always captured by the detailed description . You take
us with few well-chosen words into many beautiful places we
won't know about if I didn't read you.
Only one suggestion:
Slow pace determined by the heat
even birds' flight seems to slow
with wings that hardly even beat
while casting shadows on the ground > while casting on the ground their shadow
(IMO) this would keep the flow of the rhyme all through
Thanks for sharing
Hi Rula
I'm always pleased to share a journey with you. And trust me to Not spot that I left out "below" at end of that line lol. Thanks for the eagle eye..................stan
excellent scribble scribbles xx
oh so favourite lines…
‘and rapid movement seems a crime
best sit within the shade and rest ‘
a wonderful write stan, it so had me flowing with you - except in a few places (( smile - lol )) where judyanneMM reared her ugly head
‘on this warm mid-summer day’ - syllable short
need
‘on DUM this warm mid-summer day’
(scansion out)
Be - TWEEN PLANT - ing and the HAR - vest TIME
‘ this lethargic pce is best’ - (do you mean ‘peace’?)
‘taking hours (more) to end its stay
after a calm (ta) dewy start
.... soaking (up the) peace such stillness brings
(while) awaiting evening's whippoorwill’
all scansion out here stan, and spoils a beautiful write. imho it needs a tad more work
and typo
‘even birds' flight seems to slow’ - (too)
one other tiny thing
‘So I sit while silence rings
on this shaded silent hill’
you have used silence/silent – just a tad too close I think – maybe another word?
I love this stan – each verse is as descriptive the others, I went on a wonderful journey of remembrance
hugs
love judy
xxxx
Hi Judy
the "to" is not a typo as in to slow down
but I fixed the "pace " typo and am thinking over the other stuff. As always I appreciate your visit...........stan