Working With Japanese Poetry

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Senyru Japanese Poetry Workshop

Senyru: #1
Dry eyes low vision
Right eye twenty four-hundred
After glaucoma

Senyru: #2
Sooo broken hearted
You walked away with my sun
Tears fall as raindrops

Senyru: #3
It burns in my chest
Back tightens under pressure
Overcome by pain

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins

Comments

Barbara

Good bunch of Senyru, I do hope that the others in this workshop pay more attention to the new posts.
As you can see I have put all the information they need for all of it, I am looking forward to our Mammoth piece at the end, have a great day,
Yours, Yenti... Ian.T

Ian

Thanks I appreciate your support. It means lot.

These are rather fascinating

These are rather fascinating Barbara, there
s much imagery that makes us think in them,
I am not versed in Senyru, so offer no comment
in that connection, but these are well written.
Ann

I like to see a sense of irony in senryu

these feel personally descriptive, without using the form to make a larger meaning.
The second one is good, but for being a bit cliched