Sick Kitty

You haven’t read this nightmare yet,
sometimes I drink just hoping to forget
I have known the pain that it can cause
to do it all again without even a pause…

It’s my self destructive neutron spiral
a dissection of a mad helix, gone viral
telling hell that I have warmed over again
but what’s the real difference in the end

Fuck it all! No one knows how I’ve tried
or that I was willing to lay down and die
tried killing myself with drink and smoke
It feels like I am surviving a really bad joke

Turning on a dime for just another chance
screw the fantasy of the clouded midnight dance
take me somewhere I haven’t been before
I’d follow like a sick kitty who just wants more

If I could dare, I just might not simply follow
but I only find myself empty inside and hollow
grasping at chemicals I already know don’t work
but lacking in desire to find a new will to assert

Selfish, indulgent, parting with the last remark
how did I end up at the deep end in the dark
what possessed me to think my mind could cope
capable of more than tying the hang man’s rope

Who did I think I was, that I had what it took
I am pretty sure this shit was never in no book
a never ending well to a bottomless barren pit
I am left hardly knowing within who’s skin I fit