Sonnets is a form of poetry originated in Europe mainly Italy. The most familiar sonnet is the English form. Shakespeare wrote 154 sonnets as a series and included a few in his plays. Most of Shakespeare sonnets were written in rhyme pattern of abab cdcd efef gg.
This is one I wrote inspired by a walk around Swan Lake Gardens Park.
Sonnet __Is This What Paradise Feel Like
A peace| ful walk |in park |song birds|singing
Swans bathe|shake tail|fearthers|in set|ting sun
There is| no con|cerns a |bout ships|sinking
Or Pi|rates car|jacking|pointing|big guns
A va|rie| ty of| flower|ing plants
Growing| every|where the|eyes would|looketh
Scorpi|ons search|for food|in black|trash cans
Is this|what pa|radise|is like|near water
Where swans|pick in|sects from|their down|feathers
Sleep quiet|ly un|der tall|pine tree|sun shade
Watching|light and|pristine |water|tether
White duck|grace|diamond|carpet|ed lake
Is this|what pa|radise|feels like|on earth
On a|starlight|sunny|springtime|rebirth
dear barb
a PEACE| ful WALK | in the | PARK BIRDS | SINGing
SWANS TALK | ing BATH | ing in| the SET | ting SUN
there is | no CON | cerns a | BOUT SHIPS | SINKing
or PIR | ates CAR | JACKing | POINTing | BIG GUNS
the above is my interpretation of where the stresses are in the first verse
i am no expert, but i don't think you have the iamic quite right...
also, did you know with a sonnet there is supposed to be what is called a volta - a change in tone with the third verse?
the first two verses enlarge on a theme, and the third is a big 'but' so to speak
then the final couplet makes the concluding statement
hope this helps
love judy
a paradise not lost
you see it
amidst the day to day calamity of man
tilting castles drowning souls
and the usual highwayman
benevolant creatures
at their life
Thank Y ou!
yeah i knew
Didn't remember though when writing this. Will work on it thanks for suggestion.
A bit stressed and tired from evil around me
Evil is always about and around
and yet light too shines
Meter like understanding
for me is because Im not looking at it
but that isnt because its existance is not
real
Much like the swan sitting in beauty
or the ugliness of life that exists
at the same moment
I very much appreciate how you
incorporate the two
in a poem
it is very easy t o just write of the
one or the other
Thank You Barbara
thanks Esker
It wasn't a easy task. Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm work on it some more.
well barbara - i have been rude to stan
and now i'm going to be rude to you
lol - i hope you won't be offended
i think your write here is magnificent in the ideas you convey
can i offer these suggestions?
- please note there are some feminine lines here (i hope you believe in them by now)
:)
a peaceful walk in parks where songbirds sing
and swans all shake their tails in setting sun
where there are no concerns about ships sinking
or Pirates that car-jack by pointing guns
with all varieties of flowering plants
that grow in bloom where e’er the eyes would wander
and Scorpions hunt food in black trash cans
Is this what paradise is like near water?
Where swans pick insects from their downy feathers
and quietly sleep there under tall pine’s shade
I watch the light and pristine water tether
while white-tailed duck grace diamond carpet lake
Is this what paradise feels like on earth
when starlight’s sunny springtime sees rebirth?
just kick me out if i am too presumptive
love judy
judy
I like your suggestions. Kick you out I think not. Thanks for taking the the time to show your perspective and commenting.