scribbler
Jan 15, 2012

NOR'WESTER

Comes a winter shingle shaker
blow off the leaves, blow off the hats!
Bring a gust, an old limb breaker,
turn your breath to an ice maker,
send to rest the flitting bats.

Roar throughout the night and day,
build the whitecaps on the lakes
invite the winter here to stay
and usher autumn on its way.
Lift the tents up from their stakes.

Bring snow clouds in skies of blue,
put sleepy gophers in the ground,
freeze to frost the morning dew
bring the jack frost into view.
Send the last geese southward bound.

Then when all your strength is spent
and you've frozen everything,
delivered cold which won't relent,
leaving icy sedge fields bent
we'll all await warm winds of spring.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Am aware the meter is inconsistent. Was done semi-on purpose to convey how gusty winds often seem to blow from all directions at once.......stan

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Candlewitch

I like your title, it fits the poem nicely. I don't know much about meter but I do know I like the poem and could identify with it. It made me long for Spring. I had to look up {sedge} I found out it is a plant resembling grass. I liked your rhymes. And these lines really sum it up:

Then when all your strength is spent
and you've frozen everything
delivered cold which won't relent
leaving icy sedge fields bent
we'll all await the winds of spring

always, Cat

S

Ol' see and say me wrote this after a gale blew in 1st really cold air of the winter to South Carolina the other day. I'm glad you liked this........stan

Nordic cloud

You use the thoughts in this poem to toss us in the wind and shake our cockles, turn our finger blue, then green, an apt description of the Northern wind. Quite like watching the poetic weather forecast Stan.

Enjoyed it Ann.

weirdelf

by the Great Spaghetti Monster you are learning your craft!

However, and it is probably my failing. I can't find a subtext. Just another pastoral poem, much better written, to me.

Please be generous to tell me what I am missing.

S

If you'll look you'll see this is an older poem of mine. I dug it back out to see if any of it might be of use in the bottom line shop in helping me get a handle on dactyl.....alas no help but while scanning I spotted a typo and fixing it brought this back on stream. But I guess it's a good thing as it apparently helped you get a bit out of your fuge at least a bit lol. Good to see you.
As to subtext. The strong wind is a metaphor for times of havoc and the last few lines an affirmation that even the bad times pass and leave hope of better times. i should have dropped a heavier hint of this somewhere I guess..........stan

weirdelf

heavier hints may only be needed by those less perceptive than me. Please don't dumb it down on my account!

S

I have no plans to make any major changes to this simply Because it also seems to work well as a "Mere" patoral poem as is. Let those who seek other meanings have the pleasure of the hunt lol..........stan

IRiz

IRiz

6 years 5 months ago

Gorgeous write,
i am salivating to post it on Instagram
may i use the first part only with the full text in the comment?
Alliteration of the first stanza is haunting, cadence and rhymes are just flying flawless
Images are fresh and words are simply poetic!

S

You are welcome to use any part or the whole or anything in between. BTW what is instagram?

S

I get older I find myself suffering future shock more and more often.....I feel like a chimp watching a missile launch

IRiz

It is a familiar feeling.
Take a deep breath and enjoy the view.
Lol.
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