Cinderella man…
As he sits on the stool staring
through eyes cut and bruised
He hears the crowd swearing
feels his body over used.
The bell, he dances on feet so light,
now he knew why he had to fight.
This was not for belts or to sample glory,
his was such a hard, sad, simple story.
He’d never erase that hungry picture,
his children trying to hide their fear.
However hard he’d tried to reassure,
they worried, would he always stay near.
Squaring the ring without feeling his age,
trying hard to change his miserable lifestyle.
He at last understood and controlled the rage,
at last he would fight, the fight worthwhile.
What of this kind man, not quite in his prime,
body aching but inside feeling great elation.
Punching through misery thrown up by time,
misery that was wholly of rich man’s creation.
He’d stood toe to toe with a great depression,
broken hands, defeat and even hunger.
This did not deter his love for this profession,
even though he wasn’t getting any younger.
Because he had great strength of mind,
a will as strong as the strongest iron.
He also had three beautiful hungry children,
a wife who cared that they remain, as one…
As battle commences it lightens his mood,
win or lose his family would have some food…
Comments
Thank you,
Thank you, James Braddock was a very successful fighter, but fell on hard, no very hard times, during the great depression in America. He was offered a fight while working on the docks, he had not trained but he knew he would get money win or loose. He was so determined that his family would be lifted from their hardship, he won the fight and later went on to be the heavy weight champion of the world. Again i thank you. Love Roscoe..
I like this!
Alright, I'm a sucker for a story in verse, but still I like this a lot.
This is the first piece by you I've read and it bodes well for your other work. Jess tells me I should not comment, but critique so may I make a suggestion without being too bold?
Some of your rhymes cried out to me to be double rhymes.
"Elation/ creation" is what I mean. Those two are excellent.
One that caught me is "depression/lessen". I thought- "This changed not his love of the fighting profession."
Don't necessarily use my line, for I was just trying to show what I meant.
"Picture/reassure" is another.
There's nothing wrong with the rhymes you utilized. They simply said "double rhyme" to me.
Hope I haven't insulted you.
wesley
The reason,
The reason i love Neopoet and the poets here is the way we can speak our minds without offending. So please you have not insulted me in the least. Thank you for your comments and your ideas. Regards Roscoe..
Hi Roscoe
I seem to remember a movie starring Russel Crowe based on this man's story. A good narrative poem. I guess you already know you lost rhyme in stanza five. I know you can change it better than I and still keep your meaning. Regardless, it was an enjoyable read about overcoming adversity...........stan
Thank you,
Thank you, Stan, and yes it was that very movie that kept playing in my head, giving me the idea for this poem. He was such an inspirational character James Braddock. Thank you and i am thinking about the changes you mentioned. Regards Roscoe...
Yes Lonnie,
Yes Lonnie he was that kind of man, i think most people who lived during that time were a lot more resilient than todays. Thank you for your time and comments. Regards Roscoe..
Wesley, Stan
I have made some changes, and i thank you both for your input. Regards Roscoe...