raj
Aug 28, 2011

Irene (ver 2.0)

Oh! Goddess of Peace
have mercy on the mortals
do save our souls

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

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Comments

D

Dalton

13 years 8 months ago

Nice short piece. Is this a haiku, usually I would remove the word "the" from the last line. "The" grief sounds wrong to me. Butt hen I don't wish to interfere with the laws of that technique.

John

R

thank you for the read and your comment...yes it is a haiku..

you are right about "the" causing a jarring effect...i have altered the line...hope this reads better...

D

Dalton

13 years 8 months ago

I'm glad you are far away from the effects of this terrible event.

John

R

you are right John...physically i am far away but thoughts are with those who have been afflicted...which inspired this write...

S

It appears that this storm is not going to be quite as damaging as was believed, but still pretty bad. A timely Haiku.......stan

M

Nicely done. I share your sentiment for all the family and friends from the New England States.

Mona

R

thank you for the read and comment...its nice to know that Irene did have some mercy on the mortals and the devastation of the hurricane was much less than was anticipated and feared...