looking up from her work
at me
to see
all
she can see
through me
from my eyes
how I scan
this scene surreal
as I stare back
from hers
at a self portrait
Jun 14, 2011
Blurred Absurd
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Another *best* self-portrait
Another *best* self-portrait poem, Al.
who do you see
when I see
you looking?
my canvas
is your blank slate
~A
beautiful vision
I found the title interesting which of course drew me to this piece. I like the message in the poem - such union is hard to come by but when it happens, it can be pure magic.
I think some honing for even more brevity and eliminate "self portrait"
Perhaps:
"how I scan
surreal scenes
stare back
and see
me"
It is beautiful vision and I think the "self portrait" is evident without it needing to be said. Lovely work. ~Pamela