Reality is:
The circumference of our lives
in this space of time.
It is perception,
an analogue of senses,
consciously awake.
It’s recollections,
delusions and elusions,
clearly undefined.
It’s our molecules,
the essence of our being,
every breath we take.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi Seren
So nice to see you! I hope all is well in your reality! I've been thinking about reality alot recently - it is mind boggling. I'm on an exploration of discovery - I think my poem is a minuet part of what reality is and I'm not sure if there is a concrete answer to it but I find it a facinating subject. Any ideas/thoughts are welcome.
Thank you for coming by to read and comment! It's always good to see you!
Love Mand xxxxxx
Dear Mand,
It is as Jayne says, simply lovely. Thought provoking and deep. Nothing to find fault with.
always, Cat
Hellooo Cat
Hope you're o.k. Yes I've been thinking in depth about the subject of reality for about a week now! It is a very deep subject. I suspect it's a subject that people will discuss/try to get the bottom of for many years to come.
Thank you for your kind words and comments Cat.
Good to hear from you.
Love Mand xxxxxxx
you circumnavigate our senses
Oh Mand
you circumnavigate our senses
and with this perfect ellipse
enclose these words
in such style
that we feel the shape
and its presence
in reality.
Love to you wise woman from your friend Ann.
Hi Ann
You always bring a smile to my face! ( my e.mail still isn't up and running yet - maybe by the end of today, sorry if I've missed any from you, I'll get back to you a.s.a.p ).
I'm glad the poem was understandable ( I hope ).
Thank you for coming by to read and comment Ann - ( another wise women who is inpirational ).
Lotsa love
Mand xxxxxxx
Mand
Picture perfect piece of poetry here. I have missed your writing as I got sidetracked there for a moment or two recently. I will be sure to catch up to your writings and hope all is well by you.
Hugs and Hugs more to you
Ms Mona
Hi Mona
Lovely to see you. ( I need one of those smiley face icons ). Lol
I'm kinda going through a "what is reality" phase at the moment. ( I wonder if it's my age ). I'm wondering if I'll go crazy because I'm thinking to deeply about it! Lol It all started with trying to remember a distant childhood memory!
Anyway, thanks Mona! I miss reading your poetry too. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Love Mand xxxxx
hi mand
I also tend to write Japanese forms in series. I liked this series but have one idea. If you would like each Senryu to be able to stand on its own, you could omit the it's and it is's or whatever the heck the plural of it is is lmao.............stan
Hellooooo Stan my man!
Good to hear from you! Ooo Yeh! I'll look into that idea, this is an on going voyage so I'll take a seriously look at that! Is it possible to edit without it coming onto the stream? ( you'd think I would know by now ). Lol
Thanks for reading and for your suggestion Stan.
I hope everthing is o.k with you and your family.
Keep safe
Love Mand xxxxxxx
hi mand
We're doing fine.And as far as I know, edits go to the head of the stream every time. I have been going through my stuff just to remove (edit) beside the titles of poems I edited in prep for running copies. Each time it floods stream with however many poems I remove notation from...........stan
O.k
Thanks Stan! kind of you to come back and let me know. Nice to hear everyone is doing fine.
Love Mand xxxxx
Dear Mand
Except for the fact that the older Haiku-like poetry's
tend to be simple and straight forward to understand;
you have made philosophical poems
that have the sense of a nutshell to crack in the deep of our minds.
Ann with love
Hellooo Ann
Stan thinks it might be better to have them as stand alone verses!!! What do you think?
All input welcomed.
Love Mand xxxx
Well done, Mand.
Well done, Mand.
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings." Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141). Cassius, a nobleman, is speaking ...
~A
Hi Kailashana
I love your quote! and it is so true.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
Ha ha!
It's always good to see you and Zak! Kind of you to read and comment.
Loads of love and hugs
Mand xxxxx
hi mand
what a spin
i have just written something along these lines and was going to post it next for feedback
finally i have some time to catch up with you
and i come to this write
talk about wavelengths
i so love this
nothing to crit
love and hugs
judy
xxxx
I agree with stan about the
I agree with stan about the ITS being cut out, then it is all clearer in a way.
Have you added thoughts to these, I for one wait with bated breath as I have
reams about this subject!!!
Are you there Mand, I miss you, but I am not much in here at the moment
being busy with other things; hope you are both well, love to you as aye
Ann.