UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF NATURE

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Under the Influence of Nature" captures the essence of the natural world and its impact on the speaker. Here are a few suggestions to enhance the overall effectiveness of the poem:

1. Consider adding punctuation: The poem lacks punctuation, which can make it challenging for readers to follow the flow and meaning of the lines. Incorporating appropriate punctuation marks, such as commas and periods, will help create a clearer structure and improve readability.

2. Develop the imagery: While the poem introduces various elements of nature, such as trees, squirrels, jays, and the sky, it would benefit from further elaboration and sensory details. Try to paint a more vivid picture by describing the specific characteristics, colors, and movements of these elements. This will enable readers to better visualize and connect with the natural world you are portraying.

3. Strengthen the metaphors: The poem briefly mentions "the sleeping souls of trees" and "wise guards of nature's thickets," which are intriguing metaphors.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

One gets from being out in nature. I love your use of senses and colors to make everything come to life. Your structure has gotten so much better. I am sure this is a work in progress but I like this draft.

Really like the way this flows. You could choose two ways to write this: go for the traditional style and punctuate properly, give line spaces correctly, and make it a bit easier for the reader to follow. Or let it flow without caution, keep the enjambment and let the intoxicating influence of nature glide the reader through all the poem's sensations. I really like the latter because this is very much the feeling I get from nature, but I think most people would prefer the more traditional form.
"...splashed, washed sky" and "...Atlantic hues married by the golden shimmering disc." Poetic language. Lovely.
Thank you!
L
I believe "it's" in the final line should be "its."

you must be as weary of hearing my objections to punctuation around here
as many others are, but it seems to me that if you don't use it, or use it improperly, it doesn't project the right tempo
or the pauses that the piece needs. Of course, only you know exactly how you mean the lines or the way you breathe them,
but here is how I believe that this should read.

A comma between [trees, the castle] and a comma after castle.
Comma after [below,] lower case [squirrels]. Commas in between [skittering, hopping jays.
Capitalize [My] dots and brown spools.

Capitalize [Look] and period after sky.
close up the gaps between all the lines and make one paragraph.

As always, use my comments and advice, twist them to your liking, or just trash them. ~ Geez.
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