Fighting
Kids bickering
Parents join the battle
Love and hate tightly intertwined
Quarrel
Feb 09, 2024
Family Feud
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Fighting
Kids bickering
Parents join the battle
Love and hate tightly intertwined
Quarrel
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, "Family Feud," is a cinquain, a five-line poem that employs a specific syllable and stress pattern. The poem effectively uses this form to depict a common domestic scene.
The choice of words is apt and evocative. The terms "Fighting," "bickering," "battle," and "Quarrel" all contribute to the theme of conflict. However, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and to enrich the imagery.
The phrase "Love and hate tightly intertwined" is a powerful one, encapsulating the complex emotions often present in familial disputes. However, it might be more effective if it were shown through concrete imagery or specific examples, rather than told directly.
The poem could also benefit from a clearer progression or narrative arc. While the escalation from "Kids bickering" to "Parents join the battle" is clear, the final line, "Quarrel," does not add much to the narrative or emotional arc of the poem. A more impactful ending could provide a resolution or a new perspective on the conflict.
In terms of rhythm and meter, the poem could be improved. The cinquain form typically has a specific stress pattern, which this poem does not strictly follow. Adjusting the syllable count or word stresses could make the poem more rhythmically satisfying.
Overall, this poem has a strong thematic focus and makes good use of the cinquain form. With some adjustments to vocabulary, imagery, narrative progression, and rhythm, it could be even more effective.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
I like...
the perfect description of family life. I'm no expert with this type of poetry, but I see nothing to change. Excellent! ~ Geez.
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Thankyou very much for your
Thankyou very much for your generous comments. I like the form cinquain. Maybe I try it too often.
I would like...
to see you stretch yourself and do other things but do what you like and don't worry about how often you do it.
A thing done well, is something to be proud of. ~ Geez.
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Dear Clentin,
A job well done!
*Hugs, Cat
Thank you Cat, I appreciate
Thank you Cat, I appreciate your comments
Family life
In a nutshell. I like the simplicity of the poem, yet it said much. Well done.
Thank you Rose, I always
Thank you Rose, I always appreciate your reading my poems and for your comments