Trouble
Trouble
Jan 29, 2024

I am no more or no less

I am no more or no less

I am no more or no less
Than the laughter made from a smile between friends
I am no more or no less
Than my history, if my memories will not let me forget

As I become more I hope, I can become less subtracting form the memories of regret
I remember that each smile had no purpose beyond the purity of a friend ship
In this purity, I find the reminiscence that I am more than memories in any heart regrets

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Detroit Mi

Favorite Poets: my poets are john Coltrane and Sarah Vaughan OK they are not poets but their music is reason that I write . I want my poetry to flow like their music

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "I am no more or no less" presents a thoughtful exploration of self-perception and the impact of memories on identity. The use of repetition, particularly the phrase "I am no more or no less," effectively emphasizes the speaker's contemplation of their self-worth and identity.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and meter to enhance its musicality and readability. The line "As I become more I hope, I can become less subtracting form the memories of regret" is notably longer than the others, which disrupts the flow of the poem. Consider revising this line to maintain the rhythm established in the previous lines.

Additionally, the phrase "subtracting form the memories of regret" appears to be a typographical error. If the intended word is "from," revising this would clarify the meaning. If "form" is the intended word, consider rephrasing for clarity.

Lastly, the phrase "more than memories in any heart regrets" is somewhat ambiguous. If the intention is to convey that the speaker is more than their regrets, consider rephrasing for clarity. If the intention is to suggest that the speaker is more than what others remember or regret about them, this could be made more explicit.

In summary, the poem effectively explores themes of self-perception and memory, but could benefit from revisions for rhythm, clarity, and typographical errors.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

This is soft and quiet. An "in the moment" reflection. So many deep thoughts, but a universal, simple affirmation. May I suggest making the sentences even in length? It would make the poem a bit easier for the reader to follow. Beautiful.
Thank you,
L

Geezer

with the AI on the points discussed but feel that you have made a good connection between the reader and the poet.
Work on that meter. ~ Geezer.
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Trouble

Hey geezer how are you doing these days me and you go way back thanks for the value of love on paper

Candlewitch

first point: you have the title of the poem on it three times, which distracts form the enjoyment of reading. (and I did enjoy it!) Great ideas employed. good language usage. The final line rings a note of discord... it is intriguing...

*hugs, Cat

Trouble

Hey CW it's go's without saying that your comments are
appreciated

Geezer

get to reply sooner, but one thing and another... Ya know how it goes.
So glad to have one of my old compadres back on the site.
I hope to see you a lot more. We have grown a bunch bro.
Be glad to see you take advantage of the contests and stuff. ~ Geezer
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