Mothers Eyes

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Mothers Eyes" appears to be a reflection on the power of community, friendship, and the creative process. The use of language and imagery is effective in conveying these themes. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

The first two lines could benefit from more specific imagery or metaphor. As it stands, the phrase "What to say, its another day" is somewhat vague and doesn't provide a clear image or emotion for the reader to latch onto. Similarly, "My hand in my pocket, and I want to say" could be made more evocative with the addition of more specific details or sensory language.

The line "At neopoet there is no end" seems to be a reference to a specific community or platform. This could potentially alienate readers who are not familiar with this reference. If the intention is to make the poem universally accessible, it may be worth considering a more general term or phrase.

The final lines of the poem are quite powerful, with the image of "joyous tears" and a child looking into their mother's eyes. However, the transition to this image could be smoother. The line "My gratitude runs down" is somewhat abrupt and doesn't clearly connect to the preceding or following lines.

In terms of structure, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of rhythm and rhyme. The current structure is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult for the reader to engage with the text.

Overall, the poem has potential and effectively conveys a sense of gratitude and creative inspiration. With some refinement, it could be made even more powerful and engaging.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hi Leslie, I can see you are growing in your poetry, well done.

The Bot said this:
The first two lines could benefit from more specific imagery or metaphor. As it stands, the phrase "What to say, its another day" is somewhat vague and doesn't provide a clear image or emotion for the reader to latch onto.

I think it has a valid point, you want to catch me with the first line, maybe describing your experience will help? If you start off with a statement, "I'm Lost for words" could give you what you're looking for because this has more than one meaning here on NeoPoets if you get me?

Similarly, "My hand in my pocket, and I want to say" could be made more evocative with the addition of more specific details or sensory language.
Why is your hand in your pocket? Are you hiding something, protecting yourself, is this why you wrote this poem? Perhaps describing what is in your pocket will give the reader an image to make your poem real for them? Is it full of fluff, money, loss, hope, love, heat, cold, ice, hate, fire, does the object irritate your fingers?

I hope this makes sense but I will come back later, let me know. Ruby :) xx

..if I'm not being overly harsh, I will ask about the use of the word "gouts" in L8. I could not find any reference that would (fit?) the context.
Assuming it's a typo, I would expect the word "bouts" to be there, although I have limited experience culturally in the use of the word in question.
Yes, a little nitpicky, but that's what helps us grow in our writing.
If you seek further help, you may find it going forward.

Sincerely, Thomas

The soft wet tears of a child
Peering up into mothers loving eyes!

this is most lovely!

*hugs, Cat