SHE HAD...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem presents a vivid and detailed description of a female character, using a rich array of adjectives and metaphors. However, there are a few areas that could be improved to enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the poem.

1. Consistency in Metaphors: The poem uses a variety of metaphors to describe the character's features, such as "milky pool walnut shaped eyes" and "beetle leg silky eyelashes". While these metaphors are creative, they might be too disparate to form a cohesive image. It could be beneficial to choose metaphors that are more closely related or that contribute to a central theme.

2. Punctuation and Line Breaks: The poem could benefit from more consistent use of punctuation and line breaks to guide the reader's understanding. For example, the phrase "eyes, she crinkled her upturned" could be confusing because it's unclear whether the "she" is referring back to the "eyes" or introducing a new action.

3. Clarity in Descriptions: Some descriptions in the poem, such as "curvilinear waist" and "spools of thick chocolate dark brown hair", could be clarified. For instance, "curvilinear" is a rather technical term that might not be immediately clear to all readers. Similarly, "spools of thick chocolate dark brown hair" could be simplified to make the image more immediate and vivid.

4. Use of Adjectives: While the use of adjectives enhances the descriptive nature of the poem, it might be beneficial to use them more sparingly and strategically. For example, the line "Beetle leg silky eyelashes fluttering Innocently" contains four adjectives, which might overwhelm the reader and obscure the main image.

Overall, the poem demonstrates a strong command of descriptive language and creative metaphor. By refining the use of metaphors, punctuation, clarity in descriptions, and adjectives, the poem could present a more coherent and vivid image of the character.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hello!
I find this captivating! I like it more after reading several times. I wonder - would you consider changing the title? Perhaps simply "She". Just a suggestion. This is avant garde and a blunt, defining title seems fitting. Really like this!
Thank you!'
L

It sounds like you had it bad for this girl/woman! great poem because of the creative language and your vulnerability.*Happy Yule, Cat

Well written...perhaps she really does exist...just haven't found her yet