Kindness Departs

In the devil’s Lair,
Here, there, everywhere.

His evil stare,
Like a mirror’s glare.

Reflect back on us,
Oh what’s the fuss?

Yet we do not see,
Our lack of humanity.

As tables get turned,
Flipped what we learned.

Turned morality about,
So we were left with nowt.

But cold stone hearts,
And hatred wins, when kindness departs.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Coventry, England , GBR

Comments

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem, "Kindness Departs." I appreciate the opportunity to provide feedback.

The poem effectively captures the theme of the departure of kindness and the consequences that follow. The use of contrasting imagery between the devil's lair and the lack of humanity is thought-provoking. The repetition of "here, there, everywhere" and "reflect back on us" adds a sense of urgency and emphasizes the widespread impact of this departure.

However, there are a few areas where you could further enhance the poem. Firstly, consider varying the rhyme scheme and meter to create a more dynamic flow. This could help to engage the reader further and add musicality to the poem. Additionally, you may want to explore more vivid and specific language to evoke a stronger emotional response from the reader.

Furthermore, the poem could benefit from further development of the central idea. You touch on the consequences of the departure of kindness, but you could delve deeper into exploring the impact on individuals and society

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact