Clentin
Oct 25, 2023

Old Age (cinquain)

Old age
A time of life
When we complete our goals
Feeling wanted and full of love
Mature

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA Pennsylvania, USA

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neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, "Old Age," is a cinquain, a five-line poem that typically follows a specific syllable or stress pattern. The poem adheres to the form's structure, which is commendable.

However, the poem could benefit from more concrete imagery and sensory details. The current language is abstract and broad, which can make it harder for readers to connect with the poem on a personal level. For instance, instead of "A time of life," the poet could consider using a specific image or metaphor that encapsulates old age.

Additionally, the poem might benefit from exploring more complex emotions. While the sentiment of feeling "wanted and full of love" is positive, old age can also be a time of reflection, loss, or change. Incorporating a wider range of emotions could add depth to the poem.

Lastly, the word "mature" in the final line seems to be a simple statement of fact rather than a conclusion or summarizing thought. The poet might consider revising this line to provide a more impactful ending.

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Geezer

to be right where you want to be, when you are. As per usual, a good job and nicely done. ~ Geez.
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