"I see you on the other side
of our parents' intolerance and violence.
I think we could be friends somewhere else."
"Can we go there sometime soon?"
"I don't know if it's possible, but I hope so.
I have to go now I hear more rockets coming.
So, I'll see you tomorrow I hope."
"I'd like that very much."
Last Few Words: Inspired by a recent Banksy image about the strife in Israel and Gaza.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Grammar
Line 2: the apostrophe goes AFTER the s in parents.
War Talk
Hello, Michael,
An offering of hope...
L
As tender a story...
as I've seen, in so few words. Your title is great!
I love the theme, and it flowered in a mere few seconds to a hope for peace, amidst war, and love for one and other, no matter what our religion or political stand is. Terrorism is not a religion; it is a deliberate attack on defenseless populations. An effort to intimidate. Not the act of a "desperate for justice person." One of a certain number that have written about conflicts; this work, encompasses it all in so little time. Niceley done. ~ Geez.
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