Jenifer James
Aug 28, 2023

mermaid string

once
each word was new
had not existed
had never been spoken

so
speak the word
‘seaweed’
for the very first time

sea-weed

weed of the sea

sea - weed

smell the word, flavour it
salt-fresh

or melting rot on sand
an unbearable decay

but savour the names

green-hair
oarweed
hen-pen
rosy-pink-plates
dew-drops
oyster-thief
kelp
irish moss

unravel threads of mermaid-string
drifting in your head

as waves exhale reds and gold and lettuce green
fronds and fans
ribs and hands

seaweed

weed of the sea

sea - weed

words and names no longer new
but still expand

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I wrote this poem when someone (doubtless through the lens of a wine glass or two), asked me how I thought words began, who said the first words, like cup, spoon, platypus etc. Now, because we have so much language, and an earth-wide richness of words, I think it's easy to forget how remarkable words are - and how many other names and words emerged and continue to emerge from those first words and those beginnings. I was also researching sea weed at the time and discovering an extraordinary richness of seaweed names. So I am writing a few of these types of poems, trying to 'unravel the mermaid string drifting in my head'.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: nsw, australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Too many influences

More from this author

Comments

Lavender

Hello, Jenifer,
Very clever, and so true! It's mind-boggling thinking about the origin of words - the truly first words. A sense of magic in your choice of seaweed and mermaid string for your poem.
Delightful!
L

J

Thank-you, Lavender. it would be wonderful to have a discussion forum around the delight and interestingness (if that's a word) of words: I am currently staying with Russian woman who had to escape Russia. It is amazing how- even though writing Russian is hard for Westerners- the languages still have similarities of sound and meaning... and accents, the way we sound words.

Geezer

to the ocean a few times and seeing seaweed there, and it being different than what is seen in a pond or lake, I'm wondering if what is seen in ponds and lakes should be called pondweed or lakeweed? Actually, I would venture to say that it looks more like mermaid string or hair than what you see in the sea or ocean. Hmmmm... Your poem seems to have started something.
Nice job, ~ Geez.
.

J

Thank you, Geezer.
I know we used to have vibrant forums for discussion - I wonder if we could restart some? I realise it would be a lot of work, but imagine discussing words again! And how words tumble into poetry...

Geezer

that deserves more thought. I like it! Let me get the contest judging back on track, and I promise that we will discuss it. I have some ideas that I'm sure will resonate with you and some others here. ~ Geez.
.