Release me, from your wicked hold,
you are as bad as eating mold,
it's going to lead me to where my body turns cold,
unlock your grasp. Why did you gasp?
you knew this was coming,
and I can tell you hate it,
but that's irrelevant.
Release me from your ambivalence,
i'm the one to suffer the consequence,
I know it was deliberate,
the insight hadn't been delivered yet,
I figure it had been intercepted,
so I foolishly accepted.
Release me from this ignorance,
that you forced into my traits,
I miss fishing river banks,
Let;s be realistic,
I was fully present when you turned me sadistic,
fueled my rage to make me go ballistic,
i'm not bulletproof,
but I can handle anything you put me through.
Release me, you parasite,
i'm through being polite,
because this is not right,
my future you took from me was so bright,
and im aware I can have it back with a strong enough fight.
Release me from your destructive ways,
day after day, I can feel my teeth decay,
I must be candid, you will be abandoned,
because now that im damaged your leaving me stranded.
Aug 23, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:
Neopoem Of The Week August 20th To August 25th 2023
Release me
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Very powerful
This was a very powerful, expressive write. My first impression is that you were talking to a toxic partner but as the poem went on, I got the feeling this was a conversation between an adult child and a toxic parent. The damage one person can do to another is so significant. Your ability to stand up for yourself and overcome is tremendous. Well done.
This, like many of my poems
This, like many of my poems are about struggling with my addiction and battling the ambivalence that comes with it and trying to build momentum for a better mindset and get out things that are extremely deep and sometimes heavy, I enjoyed your interpretation of it though. Thank you.