Alan Garfoot
Alan Garfoot
Aug 02, 2023
This poem is part of the contest:

Hot Summer Nights

(Read More...)

The Druids

From deep within the woods of the sacred vine,
And celestial spiritual knit of the mistletoe knot,
Spout forth the shoots of a youth in its prime,
And legendary stories of Avalon and Camelot.

The magics of Merlin illuminating a path for the wise,
And divining the truth and knowledge for all ages,
The enlightened reflection of natures soul in the skies,
So recorded through the rhymes of the Bardic sages.

The emergence of the future from mists of prophecy,
Vibration of resonances of the standing stones temples,
The dimensional entwinement of the reality we skry,
Through an apex of consciousness uniquely essential.

Then as the golden light of the morning dawn rays,
Connects our inner soul to the highest realm above,
Rekindled our belief in the ancient ancestral ways,
All of humanity unites when aligned to divine love.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: England, UK

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, entitled "The Druids," exhibits a strong command of language and an impressive use of imagery to evoke a mystical and spiritual atmosphere. The references to ancient Celtic mythology, such as Merlin, Avalon, and Camelot, are effectively used to create a sense of timelessness and to connect the reader to a rich cultural tradition.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistency in its rhythm and meter. The lines vary in length and syllable count, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and make it more difficult for the reader to follow. A more consistent rhythm would enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging.

The poem also tends to use complex language and abstract concepts, such as "celestial spiritual knit," "vibration of resonances," and "dimensional entwinement." While these phrases contribute to the mystical atmosphere of the poem, they can also be confusing for the reader. Simplifying the language and making the concepts more concrete could make the poem more accessible and impactful.

Finally, the poem's theme of unity and divine love is a powerful one, but it could be developed more fully. The final stanza introduces this theme, but it feels somewhat disconnected from the rest of the poem. Expanding on this theme throughout the poem could make it more cohesive and emotionally resonant.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Hello, Alan,
A very clever take on the challenge topic! Sent me google-ing, which was much more out of curiosity than confusion. I was not familiar with "skry" - and now I am! Much to like and learn, here.
Thank you!
L