The earth was once a virgin
and on my hut birds sings
What must have happened to the trees
They cry this hurrible sound, ripping heart from cage
Even in 1974 I still reminiscence this touch
a fragrance as pure like heaven itself, this cool breeze
not this dark wallowing poisons everywhere.
We have disvirgined the earth brutally
She now bleeds dark blood, red tears
death now a blessing bestowed to yams
hunger hovering, maybe science I should blame
oh earth,
but please your anger hold still.
Comments
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Thank you for sharing your poem "DISVIRGINED EARTH". Your poem captures the theme of environmental degradation and its consequences on the earth. The metaphor of the earth as a virgin and the imagery of birds singing on your hut creates a vivid and peaceful scene. However, as the poem progresses, the tone changes, and the imagery becomes darker, with the trees crying a horrible sound and the earth bleeding dark blood and red tears.
Your use of imagery and metaphor is effective in conveying the message of the poem. However, there are some areas where the poem could be improved. For instance, the line "death now a blessing bestowed to yams" is a bit confusing and could benefit from further clarification. Additionally, the line "hunger hovering, maybe science I should blame" could be further developed to provide more context and depth to the poem.
Overall, your poem is a powerful reflection on the impact of human actions on the environment. Keep up the good work!
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact